Praying & Trusting

   Recently I've been having to make decisions in my life that will affect my future plans. It occurred a little over three weeks ago when I felt God was showing me a new path to take in my life. I did some research and looked more into this new possible route I would take. The more I looked into it the more excited I became! I had to stop and meditate on the choices I would be making. I had to be sure that I would not be making these choices selfishly and that if I did decide on this path over the other it would be because it was from God and I was not trying to find the easy way out.
   In trying to decide what to do in this situation I found myself constantly and vigorously praying for direction, guidance and answers. I have had those closes to me praying for me as well. During this time of praying, some things began to surface about what I would do to survive if I took this new path and if everything would really work out - job wise, money wise. I began to find myself worrying and trying to make everything workout. But due to the fact that I was praying about what to do and having that one-on-one time with God, He was able to remind me that: I need to trust Him with this! In my morning devotions it has talked about 'trust' a lot and praying and waiting and how we need to stop trying to work everything out by ourselves. He is taking care of us always. I'm not going to lie, I am scared to take this next step and even hesitant. It'll mean I have to step out of my safety net. Am I ready to do that? Yes, I believe I am because I know God will be with me every step of the way.
   I am trying to make it a habit that when I'm feeling down or uncertain or hesitant or burdened, that I need to take it to God immediately, because He does not want us to deal with these things on our own. He is there to uplift us and carry us! It has become easier with practice and it has been such an amazing reminder of how I need to live my life, not only in times of when decisions need to be made, but in our normal living too!
  
   In other areas of my life, God is teaching me a lot about what it means to wait on Him. It was very difficult to wait on His timing at first, but it has become easier. It is a whole lot less stressful when I wait on God's timing instead of trying to make things happen on my time. I still have a hard time waiting, but I know that it will be worth it in the end! I believe the reason for this 'waiting on His timing' has become easier is because He has given me peace, He is teaching me to trust Him and I have seen His blessings and his work through tithing and prayer. I find myself falling more in love with my caring Abba each day! 

::Jehovah-Jireh (another name for God in Hebrew, meaning: "The Lord Will Provide)::
   

Kelland's Coffee Cinnamon Bread

   I was roaming on Pinterest last night and found this easy amazing recipe for Cinnamon Bread! I had all the ingredients and was in a baking mood. I gathered together all the ingredients and as I was doing so I found some instant coffee in my stash of groceries! I though I would change things up just a bit with the recipe I had!
   Saturday morning came along and I woke up, grabbed my bag of gathered ingredients and headed to the kitchen to get started on my breakfast! When it was done I took it to my dorm room and its aroma filled the tiny space and it reminded me of Christmas! It made me so happy!!

KELLAND'S COFFEE CINNAMON BREAD

• 1/3C sugar
• 2tsp Cinnamon
• 2C Flour
• 1T baking powder (I used baking soda)
• 1/2tsp salt
• 1C Sugar
• 1 Egg
• 1C Milk
• 1/3C Oil
• 2T instant coffee (opt)
• 1T Vanilla (opt)

In one bowl mix together flour, baking powder,1C sugar, salt and coffee. In a separate bowl combine whisked egg, milk and vanilla. Mix the 1/3C sugar with the cinnamon and set aside. Add the wet mix to the flour mix and stir well. Once that forms a batter pour half of it into a greased bread pan. Take the cinnamon mix and sprinkle most of it over the first layer. Pour the rest of the batter over the cinnamon sugar. Sprinkle any remaining cinnamon sugar mix on top (I put too much over the top layer and should have put more on the first layer. It still taste good either way.) Put the bread pan in a preheat oven at 350 F for 45-50 minutes.


   After baking the bread, I ate some of it and then sliced up the rest and wrapped individual slices in foil to give to people. I took two to the post office when I went there this morning and the two post office ladies were surprised and excited about getting fresh bread! It was really cute to see their reaction. I love being able to make someones day by doing something so little!

New Things To Come

   This morning I awoke, drowsy and worn out from midterms week filled with studying, test and all-nighters. I started out my day by reading from 'Jesus Calling'. It talked about how we should seek the Lord above all else and how we should let the Light of His Presence shine on our pursuit in life and that if the good fits into His plans for us, He will help us reach it!
   The morning continued and I had this happiness within me. I was sitting in my room before I had to go to work with the window open and I noticed the birds chirping. I sat there and took a couple of minutes to just listen. It was refreshing to hear the birds after a cold winter. As I sat there I felt God saying to me, "Warmer weather is coming. New things are coming." It made me smile and I was filled with joy and gratefulness. The rest of my day was great and I was so thankful for it!
   God is so awesome. I love how those little things can remind us that God is thinking of us. My love for Him continues to grow and it brings an overwhelming happiness in me that I just cannot explain. I look back to last year and cannot believe how far I have come in my walk with Him. I am so excited to see where He will take me and what He has planned for me! I look forward to these 'new things' He has promised me.

   Last week I was talking to a friend who attends another college and she shared with me that she fasts two times a week. I thought that was so great! The next morning I woke up and before I got out of bed I felt God saying to me, "Kelland, I want you to fast today." So I said, "Okay Lord!" That day was one of the days my friend fasted, so into the late morning I text her and asked if she would fast the whole day with me. She, without hesitation, agreed to do so. We shared some specific personal prayer request that we could pray for through the day. As the day went on I felt this amazing connections with the Lord. Talking to Him throughout the whole day was so refreshing and encouraging. Taking time to listen was reassuring and not having the distractions of food was nice. Unloading my burdens as well as other's that I had been carrying with me was so great. Knowing He is in control of everything and everybody definitely helps me relax and be grateful.
   I think it is so important for us to take time away from the distractions in our lives and revert it back to God. He wants us to have communication with Him. He wants us to take time for Him, not because we feel we need to, but because we want to. We need to look at our relationship with Him and treat it like how we would treat an earthly relationship with a friend, only this one is one hundred times better and God should get the all the praise! He loves when we talk to Him and share our concerns, dreams, desires, fears and everything for that matter with Him! Taking time to fast is a great way to build that relationship and communication with Him! He will show you and tell you so much during that time!

Bitterness Eating At My Soul

Bitterness: resentment; a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will.
   Doesn't just reading that word and definition make you feel horrible and cringe? I know that's what it makes me do. For several several months now I have had this bitterness tucked away inside of me that I have recently discovered. This bitterness was towards a person . Also what I learned is that because I had bitterness towards this person, I had anger towards God. 
   I was at a bible study this past week and our leader began to talk about how God will bring people into our lives and how He allows us to be vulnerable with them. It can be a difficult thing to be vulnerable with someone, because you are allowing them to see the complete you: your heart, emotions, reactions, dreams, desires, character, the list goes on. We as humans are scared to share those, because we don't want to be hurt. But God desires for us to not be alone and that is why He blesses us with relationships: family, friends, significant others. Sometimes it takes time to build that trust with someone and that's okay. Sometimes we don't have the same trust between certain friends and certain family members and that's okay too. It is so very important to be vulnerable with people though, because God teaches things to us by doing so. 
   Last semester was horrible. I was not on the right path with God, even though I talked like I was and on the surface I might have looked like I was. But the truth? I had strayed. I am only recently seeing that part of the reason for my straying was my hidden bitterness and anger. What has been brought to my attention is that I was angry at God for allowing me to be vulnerable with this person that I trusted and shared my dreams with. The anger and bitterness began to build as soon as that person failed me. My heart was broken and a piece of me was gone. I couldn't understand how God would let that happen. I'm sad to say that at the mention of this person's name I would cringe and feel disgust. I didn't know why, but it was how I felt. I didn't care to talk about them or talk to them. Resulting from this, I made some pretty stupid decisions. The way I acted was hateful and inconsiderate and selfish. I was angry. 
   God is amazing though. He can transform someone within minutes. He transformed me within minutes. As soon as my bible study leader talked about her experiences and views, the bitterness and anger surfaced and at that second I could feel myself changing. I could feel myself letting go of those two things. I had never once thought that God would allow us to be vulnerable with people that may not stay in our lives and that we will go through heart break because He has something to teach us and that might be the only way we will learn it. I was aware that by meeting this person I had learned quite a bit from them and that after they left and I made those stupid choices I learned from those. After the bitterness and anger left me I could see some of my learning experiences so much clearer and in a positive way, not a negative way anymore. By going through what I went through, it's what has got me to where I am at today and I couldn't be more thankful!       

A Pathway To Prayer

   It's been very interesting the past couple of months. Either more prayer is suddenly needed or my eyes have been opened. I hadn't realised how much struggle and hurt people are going through and how they need someone to stand by them and I have become more aware of how much each individual person has the need for someone to support them with prayer. There have been numerous times in the last month that I have had different people ask for prayer in certain situations of their lives. I have more than willingly taken the time to lift their request to our Father. It has amazed me and given me a thrill to pray for those people. 
   I have been reminded of how much I do enjoy praying. It's been awhile since I've sincerely taken the time, for myself as well as for others, to talk to God and thank Him for much and ask for guidance, patience, etc. I do know that I have been taking it one step at a time and practicing on taking time to pray again. I try to constantly revert my thoughts to prayer whenever a name pops into my head; when I begin to worry about an issue or worry about my future; when an inconvenient issue occurs. It is tough to revert my thoughts away from me, me, me, because we live in a world where people are selfish and we don't want to ask for help and we like to complain. It is something that has become easier when practiced.
   Something great about prayer is that it will always be answered. Now, it may not be the answer we hope for, but God will never give us a cliff hanger to our request to Him. I have witnessed some answers to some prayer request from the past month. It has been really encouraging and just uplifting to know that God answers us. From here on out my goal is to strive to be a prayer warrior! I know it will take some training and time, but taking things one step at a time will eventually get me where I desire to be. I plan on taking the time to fast more so that I can cleanse my mind, soul and body and not have my focus on things that will distract me from prayer. At some point I would love to go out to a secluded area and just spend that one-on-one time with God! I know I will slip up along the way, but God will lead me and will bless me with friends to help and keep me accountable.

Mama Kelland's Banana Bread

   Yesterday at breakfast there were some very ripe bananas at the cafeteria. I did not want this opportunity to pass, so two of my friends and I each grabbed up a banana each and headed on our way to classes. The reason for doing this? I was in the mood to make Banana Bread this weekend!
   This morning Candace and I drove to Walmart to pick up a couple of ingredients to use. As soon as I got back to my dorm I grabbed up the rest of the ingredients and dishes from my room and headed down to the kitchen.

Mama Kelland's Banana Bread

• 2C Flour
• 1tsp Baking Soda
• pinch of salt
• 3/4C Sugar (brown or white)
• 1/2C butter
• 2 eggs
• 1/2T Vanilla
• 3 very ripe bananas
• 2 tsp cinnamon (opt)

In a large bowl combine the first four ingredients (if you are using cinnamon add to this mixture). The butter needs to be slightly melted. I usually pop it in the microwave in a separate bowl for a few seconds, stir, then a few more seconds. In a third bowl whisk the eggs, add the vanilla and then mash the bananas. Add the banana mix to the butter and stir. Next add the wet ingredients to the flour mixture. Once you've mixed it all together pour it into a lightly greased 9x5x3 inch bread pan. Sprinkle cinnamon on top if your heart desires. Put this in a preheated oven at 350 F for 60 to 65 minutes. ENJOY!!!
*If the mixture is too dry just add a little bit of water until it has more of a batter consistency.

 

  YUM! I LOVE making banana bread! I wish I could make it all the time! Each time I make it it always turns out different. This time the difference was: I added a little too much baking soda and it was extra moist!

Peace Like Never Before

   It's amazing to experience the Peace of God. Just within the first month of this new year I have felt more of God's peace than ever before in my life and I can feel Him right by my side at the time of whatever is going on around me. This is new to me and I love it!
   My second week into the semester I had my first fender bender. It was completely my fault and I take full responsibility for the situations. The couple I rolled into were not the most considerate people I've come across. The husband was definitely more calm about the situation than his wife, which helped a little bit. Their vehicle was recently bought and they were not happy about the paint chip on their back bumper and their first reaction was to go on and on about how their precious new SUV had been ruined. My first reaction after getting out of the vehicle that I was driving was to make sure they were both alright. As I apologised to the man I asked if they were alright. He assured me he was and instead of exchanging the concern, his first question out of his mouth to me was, "Are you under the influence?" Shocked, I assured him I was not. 
   The whole hustle and bustle kept me distracted enough that it wasn't until the during the time the police officer was filling out a report that I broke down in the car. My best friend, sitting in the passenger seat next to me, assured me that no matter the outcome everything was going to be alright. I thanked her for not being mad about this happening, especially because it was her car, and I explained to her that I was most upset because after my continual concern for their safety, not once did they ask if she and I were alright. It hurt me to see how selfish and materialistic people are in this world. I sat there letting the tears fall down my face. It was definitely a wake up call for several things, one being: Not everyone lives a life following Christ's footsteps. 
   Later during that day I realised I had not read my devotional from 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young. So I picked it up and read the first two words: "My Peace..." This overwhelming feeling came over me and I stopped, closed my eyes and gave thanks to God. As I read on, it talked about how His Peace is our treasure and that we should thank God when things are going our way and when they're not. It also said that He will bless us through our trials and we should except each mishap that come each day. I was in awe of how God knew I needed to read that. I had forgotten to read this earlier that morning and I believe God let me forget because He knew I would need to hear that even more later that day.  
   The end of this situation turned out fine for the most part and I cannot thank God enough for the people He has put in my life to help me out in many ways as well as help guide me through my life. This was definitely a learning experience both for my driving and my trust in knowing that God will work everything out no matter what it is. My prayer is that this couple some how takes this experience in a positive way and that some how my kindness towards them shines Jesus onto them. I did not once feel hatred or bitterness or anything along those lines towards them and I'm so glad, because I know it would hinder me and build up in me. It wouldn't be healthy. I am honestly concerned for their spiritual lives. I hope that I was able to plant a seed and that something better will come to them. 
   Experiencing God's Peace is something amazing. I wish I could break pieces of it from me to share with others, but I know it doesn't work like that. So, I hope that by living in and with God's Peace it will rub off on others so that they might experience it too!