Blessed With Godly Friends

Cori Nicole
   "After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king's son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn't let him return home. And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself." 1 Samuel 18:1-3
   It's a David and Jonathan type friendship that this lady and I share. Never had I experienced a true friendship where I could love someone as much as I love Cori. She and I are internally linked. Our hearts are internally linked - emotionally and spiritually. This is something that is hard to explain with words. It is only felt.
   I remember first meeting Cori my first semester at College of the Ozarks. We had Public Speaking together and I remember every time she got up in front of the class I would think, "She seems so cool! I want to get to know her!"
   It wasn't until that summer, when we worked housekeeping together, that we became close. We experienced the best summer of our college life together and that's when our friendship really began. It started out by going and doing fun things and then eventually we started to really bond and truly trust one another and become vulnerable and share our life stories. Looking back at how our friendship has grown is so beautiful! Our friendship is so different now than it was then. We have experienced a lot together and continue to grow not only deeper in our relationship, but in our relationship with the Lord.
   It has been beautiful to see Cori grow in her faith and trust God more and more and see her experience Him in a multitude of ways. What joy it brings me to see her living for Him. She is a true daughter of the Most High and is always seeking ways to deepen her relationship with Him. It has been so encouraging to know that I have her there for me to challenge me in my walk with the Lord and to be uplifting when I have my off days. I'm so proud of her in this area of life as well as her schooling and jobs.
Some things I love about our friendship:

• When she is feeling one way I feel that way too. 
• We feed off of the other when either one or both of us are on a spiritual high and encourage one another when we're feeling low. 
• We look out for each other and try to meet each other's needs in any way that we can. 
• We have silly talks, ranging from misunderstandings and inside jokes to our bowel movements.
• We share serious conversations and seek wisdom and opinions and suggestions from one another.
• We go to the Lord with situations that we encounter.
• We pray with each other.
• We are snuggle buddies and still have sleepovers on the weekends at age 21.
• We are able to sit in quietness together and not feel a need for conversation. 
• We share facts and highlights and lowlights about our day.
• We worship our Lord together. 
• We share families
• We see each other just about every day.
• I feel God's arms wrap around me when I hug Cori, because I know and see Christ in her.
• We have seen each other when selfish and frustrated and unhappy.
• We have seen each other cry and be open and vulnerable.  
• When the Lord is speaking to us or teaching us something we share it with one another.
• We drink coffee together.
• We read our devotional together.
• We have so many similarities [hearts for missions], yet so many differences [Cori is a leader, I a ma follower].
• We are always learning more about each other. It never gets old. 

  I know that my friendship with Cori is of the Lord and it is a blessing that I do not deserve. I am so thankful for my sister-friendship with Cori. I know that we have a lot of plans for our futures and a lot of fears, but we are bringing it to the Lord. I know that time, distance or situations could only strengthen our friendship. I know that time and distance will not hinder our friendship, but the thought of it scares me. I can be confident in saying that because this friendship is blessed the Lord will keep us close at heart. I cherish this lady for who she is. I know the Lord will use her in many ways to reach out to young ladies and remind them they are beautiful in the eyes of our Lord.
My Core Friendship.

Holly Brooke

"A friend is always loyal, and a brother [sister] is born to help in times of need." Proverbs 17:17   
  Although we are seven years apart and never were really close growing up, she is my best friend now and our relationship continues to grow. I have learned so much from this lady, especially when it comes to marriage, friendships and general life lessons. She and her husband have been great examples in many ways and have been so hospitable to me on more occasions than I can even count. I have enjoyed seeing her heart grow in love. I have been brought joy by seeing her learn to trust God in so many areas of her life and to see her continue to grow in Him. I know that I can always count on her and trust her with my life. Fact: she is my ICE (in case of emergency) contact in my mobile.
   Holly and I have kind of always had a long distance relationship, going back to when she was in high school and I was homeschooling; she was in college 3 hours away and I was still at home; she got married and I moved to Africa; she and her husband got planted in KC and I went off to college in the Ozarks. It's been awesome to see how although we have lived apart from each other for so long our relationship is, and always will be, present. We talk through text, phone calls and skype and try to keep up with each other as life continues to move along with out the other by the other's side. We have found a balance and have learned to savour and enjoy and make the most of the times we do have together! It is hard being away from Holly sometimes, but I have learned to appreciate and love her through our long distance relationship-friendship and the quality time God does bless us with every few months.
   Holly and her husband are now expecting their first baby [which we just found out is a boy] and we are all so excited as it is the first grand baby. This will be my first time to be an aunt and to a sweet little nephew. I cannot wait! Through this next chapter in life I know things will be a little different, especially with Holly joining the Mommy club, but I feel that as much as I want to be there for her and help her in any way that her younger sister can, we will build a new bond that will only grow us closer and deepen our relationship.
My sister-ship.

Lisa Ilene
"For where two or three have gathered in My Name, I am there in their midst." Matthew 18:20   
   This woman has such a beautiful heart. She is on the path to becoming a Nurse, which she will be an incredible one, and I love seeing and hearing how she serves others. God has big plans for her and I cannot wait to see what all this includes. Her heart for missions is growing and watching her trust the Lord with her future is so precious. I know she has concerns, like anyone else, but she has the determination to live her life for our Father in Heaven.
   It is so awesome to look back to when Lisa and I first met and so crazy to think that we would have the friendship that we share today. It was the summer before our first semester of college at Southwest Baptist University and we were in the same group during orientation and later found out that we would both be in the same dorm. Because we were both pursuing Nursing we bonded quickly. I always loved knowing that Lisa was just one floor away and that we would enjoy breakfast together just about every morning that semester. I could go to her for anything and I loved it. Our friendship has been so sweet and definitely given to me by God. When I transferred schools it was hard to know I would be away from my dear friend, but the Lord is sweet and has kept us together despite distance. Although we only see each other every few months now, time and distance hasn't done anything to affect our friendship and I love it!
   This last year I have slowly but surely become a prayer warrior and I couldn't be where I am today without the accountability and encouragement of Lisa. Taking one day a week to fast and pray has been so rewarding and beautiful and growing. I have experienced and have seen results that the power of prayer has when we are abiding in Christ and sincerely have faith in Him and trust Him wholeheartedly.  The Lord brought this to Lisa and I felt Him calling me to join her. I truly believe that the Lord has blessed our friendship through this and has allowed us to be vulnerable and trust each other, which has opened up such a beautiful thing with each other. I love knowing that I can share with her my personal prayer request or another request and that it will be prayed for. It's comforting.  
   I look forward to what the next year ahead holds as I will be moving closer to Lisa. I pray that our friendship will only become stronger when we have been blessed with being close to each other once again!
My Prayer Partner

Tori Leigh
"An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy." Proverbs 27:5-6
   This woman is one who loves the Lord and strives to live a life that pleases Him. Her friendship to me has been wonderful.
   Tori and I met our first semester at Southwest Baptist University (me being a freshman, her being a transfer sophomore). I remember sitting at a table in the cafeteria next to this random girl and we began talking, only to find out that we were both new to campus, both lived in St Louis at one point and now live in the same dorm! We discovered that we share a birthday month (and ever since then try to see each other and document our reunion). We instantly created a bond that has only continued to develop and grow in the last 2 1/2 years.
   Although I only had one semester with Tori, that semester was filled with adventures and humorous memories. Because my parents had recently returned to South Africa shortly after I started college, Tori was kind enough to invite me home with her to share her house and family. Her family kindly took me under their wing and took care of me.
   Although we now live 90 miles away from one another, Tori has always been there for me and has helped me grow in life and my walk with the Lord. She has been a true friend by being honest with me and helping me figure things out in life. I remember during a time in my life I was talking about what my future might look like, which was honestly unrealistic, and when others were agreeing with me or supporting me in a way, Tori helped me get my head out of the clouds and realise that was not logical. Having her be completely honest with me when no one else was, truly saved me from possibly making a decision that would have many negative aftermaths in my life. Even when it was hard to hear the truth from Tori, it made me value her and our friendship even more. She had my best interest in mind and she loved me enough to speak truth to me. She has helped me to be more aware in life and to approach the truth to others lovingly.
  It is so inspirational to see how Tori is involved in her church doing children's ministry and how she serves the Lord and others. She has served on a Mission Trip to Baja Mexico twice and hearing about her first experience about all she learned and saw was precious [currently I am eagerly waiting to hear about her second trip]. Her heart's desire is to be married, have a family and love Jesus. Watching her wait for the Lord in this area has been hard, but beautiful and encouraging. I have learned from her that waiting on the Lord's timing is the best thing we can do. She is so strong. Tori is graduating this May and I am so proud of her! I love this woman so much and am so blessed to have a friendship with her.
   I look forward to see how the Lord grows us even more, as individuals as well as friends as well as in our walk with Him, and I truly look forward to this next chapter in life!
My Sincere Friend


    The Lord has blessed me with so many other friendships that I am truly thankful for! I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't met those individuals. It's so amazing to see how the Lord uses different people in our lives at a specific time in our life. I've learned that sometimes He brings friends into our lives for a season and others for a life time. Whichever reason those people are in our lives for, we should be thankful for each one that the Lord has blessed us with and seek lessons and growth through what the Lord is wanting us to experience through each friendship. Don't allow yourself to falter in seeing how the Lord has used a specific person in your life. Be open to accepting what the Lord is teaching you.

Baboon Memories

   Yesterday I decided to make the most of this lovely spring weather we're having and go on a hiking trail to kill time before I went into work. As I was walking along the shaded rocky, muddy path, it made me realise how happy I was to have the time to partake in an activity that refreshes me and enjoy so much. As I continued down the pathway, I heard a noise to my left and immediately made myself be aware of any baboons that I might come across. OH WAIT! There aren't any baboons in the forests of Missouri! I laughed at myself for my mind going straight to baboons and not bears or skunks or something of the kind. I guess I have just had too many baboon experiences when living in Africa and still have my moments when I forget that I live in the United States.

   January 2009: It had only been four days since we moved to Botswana and already we had a Cluster Meeting in Rustenburg, South Africa we were embarking for. It was wonderful to be able to spend time with fellow 'co-workers' and other TCKs (Third Culture Kid) for a few days. Several families spent four days at a resort to share about the work that was going on where each family lived, to worship together and partake in activities together. It was very relaxing. The morning everyone was heading home we were all walking to the car park to load the luggage into our vehicles. We had a very interesting surprise waiting for each one of us. All of the vehicles in the car park were covered in brown hand prints. Baboons had marked their territory with the poop. Kindly enough the employees at the resort were out washing each vehicle. It was quite humorous and just the beginning of my baboon encounters.

 

   July 2009: We had been living in Botswana for almost seven months when my sister Holly came to visit us! It was a sweet reunion. My family and I decided since we would be picking up Holly at the Bulawayo, Zimbabwe airport we might as well take a trip to Victoria Falls on the Zimbabwe side!
   We soaked in the sites and sounds of the beauty of the falls and followed the paved walkway, being rained on by the water falling over the edge and crashing against the rocks at the bottom and spraying upwards at us. The beauty of the majestic falls really made you appreciate how beautiful God is! Words and photographs cannot even do justice to seeing Victoria Falls with your own eyes.
   We were nearing the end of the walkway, leading back to the car park, when we came across dozens of baboons. As we were walking we saw about five baboons to the right of the pathway and we pulled out our cameras to take photos. As I was looking at the five baboons yards away from us, I backed up to get them in the photo when I almost stepped off the pathway. I looked behind me to make sure I didn't trip and what I saw definitely gave me a fright. There was a baboon laying on the ground twelve inches from where my foot stood. I slowly moved back onto the path. Thankfully these baboons were use to humans so were not vicious unless provoked.
   We got our pictures and went along our way. We stopped at the restrooms before leaving and as we were waiting for all of us to finish we heard the screaming of the baboons and knew immediately something was not right. We backtracked to where the baboons were to be sure everyone that might be around was okay. When we approached the scene this is what we saw:
  Three African men were standing back to back and a mother baboon was screaming at them. There was an older European couple at the other end of the path standing still as to not bother the baboons. A couple more baboons started to go in at the African men, but there was no serious attack. After about ten or so minutes the baboons cooled down and the Africans and the Europeans were able to make it the rest of the way down the path. We don't know if the men were provoking the baboons or if they got too close or if it had anything to do with the babies, but it was definitely terrifying, especially since there were dozens of baboons all over the place. In the end everyone was safe and nothing serious happened.

 

   May 2010: My parents, younger brother Luke and I were driving back from helping out at 40/40 Training (learning to live and minister in the city and out in the bush) in Petauke and Lusaka, Zambia. We had a long trip ahead of us as we were driving back to Francistown, Botswana. We decided that since we would be staying in Livingston, Zambia, to split up our driving time, we might as well take a trip to Victoria Falls on the Zambia side. 

   We went fairly early in the morning to once again see the beautiful falls. We were excited to see them from a different point of view this time. As we walked along the pathway that took us to several lookouts onto the falls, there were signs and warnings of baboons. We saw them spread out along the pathway and went about our way. We decided to take over one hundred steps down to the Boiling Pot, which is were the two Zambezi streams meet and create a whirlpool (many rafting trips occur along this waterway). Just as we had gotten to the bottom of the steps we had to take a dirt path that would take us to the Boiling Pot. As we approached that pathway we came into contact with a dozen baboons sitting on a fallen tree that blocked the pathway. Although they seemed calm and we probably could have squeezed passed them, we did not want to risk being in their territory or come into close contact with the baby baboon, especially after our other experiences, so ended up backtracking up all those stairs. 

   I absolutely love having these memories and experiences on top of many more! I know they will definitely not be the last. 

Open Hearts Creates Oneness

   Last semester I was apart of a weekly Bible study with ten other lovely ladies and we went through the study of 'Discovery' by Will and Betty Wyatt. It focuses on looking at God's Word and understanding it better and having some of our questions answered by looking at what Scripture has to say.
"Discovery helps redirect those who have grown up knowing about the Lord, but who have not experienced the deep, meaningful relationship He wants with them. ... All believers can experience joy, peace, and a sense of God's love, even in the midst of a question-filled world."
   As part of our study the eleven of us ladies were given the assignment to take turns each week to share our life stories. This included - where we grew up, a little bit about our family, things we struggled with growing up, experiences we went through that make us who we are today and what our struggle is at the current time. This meant that we had to be transparent. I had only shared bits and pieces of my life story with certain people, but I had never chronologically shared my life story,especially the things that would make me seem less of a follower of Christ. I was not use to being open to my sins of the past or of the present and was certainly not use to being vulnerable. Thankfully I had a couple months to prepare before I shared with these ladies, some of which I did not know very well.
    Each week was amazing. As each young lady shared their life story I became aware of a lot of things about them and myself. I soon came to learn that people are the way they are because of the life they have lived and the things they have experienced. Everyone has their sin that they struggle with and no one is better or holier than anyone else. We are equal in the eyes of the Lord. We all experience different journeys and encounter unique chapters in life. I quickly learned that I am a judgmental person and with so many people have I looked at them or have been around them and thought, "Really? Why do you do things that way? Why do you react that way? Why?" Not taking time to stop and think, "Wow, I have no idea what this person is going through or what they have gone through, and I don't know why they respond that way. Maybe there's something going on in their lives that is causing the way they are right now." As humans we are selfish and don't even take time to consider others. It is definitely something that has to be practiced and given time. Being selfless and serving others does not come naturally. But with time and practice it can become your initial response.
   As the week for my time to share crept up I had become comfortable enough with these ladies in my Bible study to be transparent. I shared my life story with them, being open about things I struggled with growing up and things I took part in that I was not proud of and revealing the very things I struggled with at that moment in life - how trusting God with bringing my future spouse into my life was ridiculous, because it was taking too long; how I struggle with self pity thoughts; how I rebelliously turned from God and tried to live my own way and making things come about at my own time. The list goes on.
   I learned a bit about me after sharing and started to understand some things that God let me experience so that He could teach me certain things. I do not regret things that I did or have gone through, because I have learned numerous things from each experience. I don't think I have ever been so vulnerable in my life apart from my relationship with the Lord. There was something satisfying and beautiful about it.
   By the end of the semester, and after hearing just about everyone's life story, I discovered I had quite a bit in common with each young lady. My eyes were opened and the Lord really showed me how healthy it is to be open to other believers. They are there to support you, pray for you, love you, help you and just be there for you. Being vulnerable with other believers creates oneness and the Word says, "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is apart of it." (1 Corinthians 10:27). We, as believers, are suppose to be one. How can we be one when we portray ourselves as having it all together and not having any struggles? That is sadly seen in a lot of churches today.
   The last seven months I have been more transparent with others and open about my struggles and the Lord has used that to touch other's hearts as well as my own. It has been an amazing experience and I have been seeing lately that more and more people are being open about their lives and the things they have experienced. All without shame. If we want to reach out to those who have no desire to know Christ or to be a Christian because all they see is people being 'holier' and 'better', we need to be honest and transparent with them and let them know that they are not alone in their struggles. We, as believers, need to be more honest, open and transparent with one another to grow in Christ as well as with each other as the body of Christ.
There is such growth through this.

Future Missions

   Growing up I attended Girl's in Action at my church and that is when my first call to Missions began. Learning about Missionaries and what they did really intrigued me and I loved the thought of living in a different country. I have always been one who enjoys being unique from everyone else, so to have the experience to live some place else was exciting! I was able to experience that call when I moved to Botswana at sixteen years old with my parents and younger brother. Ever since then my heart grows more and longs for missions, especially in Africa. 
   During my college years I have been realising that the Lord wants to use me overseas when I finish with my schooling. I have no idea if it will be immediately after college or a few years later or if it will be three months short term or 3 years long term. Whenever it is and however long it is, I want to be ready to answer that call to go! I have had struggles with waiting to go and I've had a handful of moments when I wanted to drop everything I was doing and go overseas and figure it out myself instead of waiting on God's timing. First of all, that would be stupid and I wouldn't succeed as much as I would like because I hadn't waited on God's timing. Secondly, I wouldn't be able to do what I long to do - which is medical work. So, during those times when I wanted to drop everything, the Lord was kind and reminded me that I still had a lot of learning to do before I started that chapter in my life. 
   With all of my postponements in college with my Nursing I have absolutely no idea when I'll be finished with my schooling, but that's okay. I have seen God through this all. I believe this current semester I was not accepted into the programme, because the Lord would bless me with quality time with my family as they are stateside this summer. If I had started the programme I would be in classes for part of the summer. I'm sure He will continue to reveal other reasons as the year goes on. He know's what He is doing.
   Last month I discovered www.worldrace.org which I have to say has probably been the most exciting thing in my life most recently! I read through just about the whole web site and watched testimony videos and read blogs and the more I looked into this adventure the more I felt this overwhelming tug at my very being that was calling me to do this! 

   The World Race: "It is a journey to 11 countries in 11 months to serve "the least of these" while amongst real and raw community. It facilitates discipleship through the process of discovering into the abundant life He promised. It births partnerships with ministries around the world. It requires Luke 10-like faith."
   
   I realised that I worked with someone last summer who said he was about to go on this, but at that time I wasn't really interested in understanding more of what it was. It's probably a good thing, because God had a lot to teach me last year before this journey could even enter my mind. 
   I have been praying about doing the World Race and seeking God's will in this and so far I feel like it could work out! My thoughts are that:
1) If I get into the Nursing programme this fall I would have that completed summer 2015
2) My best friend's wedding, which I am the maid of honour in, is May 2015
3) I would have over year in a half for God to mold my heart, prepare me and teach me things
4) I would have a year to raise money and save money
5) I'm single and I don't really have any excuse to not do something like this

So, with all of those things being looked at, I could potentially start the World Race July or September of 2015 when they offer new routes of which countries you would go to. Ever since I have discovered this I randomly keep meeting people who have participated in the World Race or who are about to and I feel as if it might be a sign from God! 
   Now, all of that is my idea, but obviously God has this all planned out! And who knows, maybe this is not what He has for me. My job is for me to trust Him with this and to know that whatever happens is for the best. 
    So, as I wait and see how things play out I hope that you would keep me in your prayers in this and that I would seek God's will and His guidance in my life. I'm sure I'll have updates in the future on this, but until then I wait. 

"The Lord now chose seventy-two other disciples and sent them ahead in pairs to all the towns and places He planned to visit....'Not go, and remember that I am sending you out as lambs among wolves. Don't take any money with you, nor a travelers bag, not an extra pair of sandals'...'Whenever you enter someone's home, first say, "May God's peace be on this house.""
Luke 10:1,3-5

His Precious Thoughts

{This is in relations to my 'Walk By Faith, Not By Sight' post}
   Today I was reminded of how the Lord truly does think of me.
  The idea of being thought of by someone is something that would make anyone happy. The thought of someone taking that moment to lay aside any self-concerns or self-seeking thoughts or taking a moment in the middle of a busy day to wonder how someone other than themselves is doing in life, says a lot about a person. It reflects that they take action in being selfless and be considerate to wonder how a friend is doing. When we're not with someone or communicating with them through other ways, it's hard to know how they are truly doing and let's face it: How often do you think of the people who mean the most to you during the day? For me, it's occasionally. And everyday is different. Sometimes a specific person will randomly pop in my head and sometimes that person isn't thought of again for weeks.
   How I see it is that God places others in my thoughts because He knows what that person is going through at that specific moment he brings that name to mind. How I deal with these people coming to mind? I've taken the response to praying for them. Recently I've had the most random people from way back in my past that have popped into my head and I wonder, "Hmm, what are they up to in life these days? Where are they living? I wonder how they're doing." I've learned that God has brought these people to mind because He knows what is going on in their life and need prayer. I have this desire to become a Prayer Warrior and I feel so privileged that God would allow someone to come to mind because He knows I will take the time to pray for them. I'll be honest, sometimes I don't pray because I just don't think about it. I'm trying to get into the habit of saying a prayer for the names that pop into my mind. Every once in awhile I will either leave a note, right a message or e-mail or text and let that special person that came to mind know that I was thinking of the. How encouraging and uplifting it is to hear those words.

   Yesterday I learned that I did not get a spot in the Nursing programme I had applied for for this spring semester. I had been anticipating this moment to hear what my final status would be and had even begun to expect that I had not made it just to prepare myself. As disappointed as I am at this delay in my pursue towards Nursing, I know that God has a reason for this delay. It can be hard to trust that everything is going to work out for the best, but I know deep in my heart that everything truly will work out for the best. Maybe the Lord has specific people He wants me to encounter this semester; maybe He has plans to use me in ways He wouldn't be able to use me if I were in the programme; maybe I'm suppose to learn something from my classes this semester that will benefit my future; maybe my focuses will be different compared to what they might have been if I were in the programme; maybe it's to grow me in my relationship with the Lord. The list goes on.
   This morning I woke up and was still a little upset and even discouraged about where I was at and the delay I'm encountering. I had some things to get done before I got started with my online course this morning. I needed to print off some assignments as well as get one of my books ordered from the OTC bookstore. I couldn't decide if I wanted to go to the library to print papers first or to get my book ordered. I decided to head to OTC to get that taken care of.
   All morning I had been talking to God and just asking for guidance and strength and joy before heading out. I pulled into the OTC parking lot, parked my car and got out to head inside. As I was walking towards the building a gentleman was walking towards me. As we got closer he made the comment, "So much for warm weather!" I responded with, "I know, right?" We had almost passed each other when I realised that this man was the Nurse I had job shadowed in the ER last March! I stopped, called him by name and we started chatting. Although he recognised me, I reminded him of how we knew each other. It was just for a short two minutes that we chatted, but in that time I informed him that he was the person who impacted my life and encouraged me in my journey to becoming a Nurse and that I thought of him often! He was touched to hear that.
   It's funny how little decisions will cause a certain outcome. If I had not gone to OTC before the library, I would not have come into contact with this man. Would God have used a different approach to remind me that He was thinking of me while at the library? I don't know. All I know is it was absolutely amazing that this man, that made a difference in my life and that I had not seen for almost a year and had no way of contacting him, was all of a sudden placed in front of me. On my journey this last year I know that God allowed me to job shadow this specific Nurse so that I could stay on the path He has planned for me. God used this man in my life to get me to where He has me today. I honestly feel like that was God saying, "Kelland, I'm thinking of you." It was also very encouraging as it made me remember that passion and those feelings I had while job shadowing in the hospital. It made me remember why I was pursuing the medical field. It was a reminder that God has not left me alone in this situations and is not making me try to figure things out for myself, but is with me in this journey.
  My heart smiled at the sight of physically seeing God think of me and to take that moment to inform me He was thinking of me. He thinks of each one of us every second of the day and it's hard to comprehend that as well as remember it, but in moments like these it's such a beautiful reminder of who God is and how much He loves us.

"How precious are Your thoughts about me, O, God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them. They outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, You are still with me!"
Psalm 139:17,18
[Verse 17 has been my favourite verse for years now. How beautiful it has been to see God think of me.] 

Keep Focus, Make Improvements and Wait

  I have been realising that there are some changes I need to make in my life and some improvements I need to make as well. I'm taking time to allow myself to bring into focus the things in life I need to give more attention to as well as things I need to reduce ---
There are friendships that I have lacked with investing time in and I feel God urging me to hang onto these people. I truly desire to keep and build these friendships as well as build new ones. This is where I will need to step in and initiate getting together with them instead of waiting for them to initiate getting together with me. God has blessed me with many friendships and they are one of the most important things in my life.
I need to be careful with how I spend my time. Time is precious and I really should not be wasting it by being on Pinterest or Facebook or watching tv. Weaning myself off of those things will be challenging, but doable. I need to be productive and use my time wisely. There are many things I could be doing. Last semester I said I was going to visit the Nursing home right down the road once a week. I did a couple of times, but didn't really stick with it. It's things like that, where I can be doing acts of service and reaching out to others, where I need to be spending my time. I'm praying the Lord will show me where I can do so.
Reducing how much I go out and spend money - shopping, drinks, restaurants, movies, etc. is another area I will be working on. God has blessed me with the money I have and I need to be a good steward of it and not spend it irresponsibly. Deciding how to use it will definitely make me put more effort into making choices that might need a second thought before making any permanent decisions.
There are events that need preparing for, such as Cori's wedding as well as a Secret I cannot share quite yet. All of those who are involved in these two areas are going to need help and support and I am thankful to be  there for them. I will need to make sure that I am not lacking on my part and being caught up in things going on in my life and be sure I am aware and checking up on things going on around me and seeing where I can be of assistance.
   Making an effort to do these things, as well as other things, will take practice and getting use to. I know that by changing these little areas in my life will not only affect others, but will also allow me to grow as a person.

"Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we must do good to everyone - especially to those in the family of faith." Galatians 6:10

   Ever so gently is Africa tugging at my heart. I'm ready to go back. I'm ready to help others. I'm ready to have Jesus use me over there. I'm ready to go home. I am trying to not let these thoughts and feelings consume almost every corner of my mind, because it takes me away and makes me want to drop everything I have going on and GO. As appealing as that sounds, it wouldn't be the smartest action. As much as I long to head back to Africa, and I totally could, I know deep down that right now is not the time. Friends and family need me right now, especially when they are entering new chapters in their lives! The Lord is calling me to go to Africa one day and He hasn't made it clear when that time is, so in the mean time I need to be patient and continue on the path He has for me that will take me home. If I decided to head home now it would be under mainly selfish circumstances. It would reflect that I am not going to trust God in getting me there and that I could do it myself. I would not be successful in the things I want to be successful in and all due to trying to live life my way. I keep wondering if after these two big things take place, along with where I'm at with my education, if then God will take me home..? Ahh! It's too exciting to think about that I feel I could burst! I will not know what the Lord has planned for me until He reveals it to me. So in the mean time I must be patient and responsible and continue on the path He has for me, until He decides to direct me elsewhere.

"For He loves us with unfailing love; the Lord's faithfulness endures forever." Psalm 117:2

Joy In My Heart In Times of the Unknown

   The last few days I have been so encouraged and inspired by the music I've been listening to. While visiting my sister and brother-in-law in Lee's Summit last weekend I was introduced to Bethel Music. There is such praise, adoration and happiness found in their songs. Taking time to worship and acknowledge the Lord has to be one of the most uplifting things one can do during hard times as well as happy times. Singing about God and who He is and all He brings us is one of the most beautiful things in this world. Lyrics truly do have such a powerful impact on people and what kind of mood it can put someone in. The mood this kind of music puts me in is: happiness.

 ♪ This is what You do, You make me come alive ♪ 

   My heart right now is filled with joy. The more I walk in this journey the Lord has me on, the more I am discovering about how faithful and trustworthy He is. I have messed up and taken detours in life recently and I have regrets and I have disappointment myself and I ask God, "How can You forgive me when I have let You down and been so selfish in my actions? How do I get out of these old ways of living? How are You going to use this later in my life?", etc. The answer to questions like these is simple - God is forgiving and He loves me despite the wrong I do and lets me go through certain things to experience more of who He is. I have to remember that each moment in life is a moment the Lord gives us to seek Him and all that He has planned for us.

   There is joy in my heart, but there is also some fear. There are several unknowns in my future right now - schooling, career, marriage, place of living. Although I'm eager to know what these specific areas might look like and have moments of worry, I also have moments when that worry and fear are replaced by a peace that let's me not be concerned about what the future has to bring. It is tough to wait on the Lord's timing, but I've learned that His timing is always better than my timing (I usually realise this in hinds site.) Whatever each of those areas bring I know the Lord is in the process of molding me and preparing me for what is to come from each one. He is helping me to be more like Him and breaking me out of my fleshly habits, which has been more challenging than I thought it could be. He has given me a desire to be more like him and less like the ways of the world. Each day I have my struggles and feel like giving up and giving in, which I do sometimes, but the Lord is so faithful and encouraging that I know I can get up on my feet again, make it through and finish strong through my struggles. There is a lot the Lord has to teach me and prepare me for before I start in any of those areas in life.
   One thing I'm trying to sort out is a backup plan just in case things do not fall through with the LPN programme this semester. My plan B is to reapply in the fall as well as apply to OTC's EMT programme. My thinking is that this might double my chances of getting my foot in the door somewhere, which is all I want to do at this point, but anything could happen. Things could easily change during this semester as well as over the summer. Should I look at other colleges to apply for their Nursing programmes? If so where all should I be applying to? Places in St Louis? Kansas City? Cape Giraradeau? The choices are endless. And what if nothing falls through, then what? I have no idea what results like that would mean for me. I know I need to take life one step at a time, but eish, it is tough.
   Why do we waste so much time worrying about our future. God has each one of our live's in His hands and if we are living for Him and seeking His will for our lives, He will guide us each step of the way. There honestly shouldn't be any room in our lives for worry.
I'm ready for what the Lord has to bring me. My future is in His hands and I need to take pleasure in the days He has given me now and live life one day at a time.

"But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. I praise God for what He has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?" Psalm 56:3,4