Walk By Faith, Not By Sight

   In reference to one of my previous post on 'Praying and Trusting', I have a followup.

   My decision that I was praying about was leaving College of the Ozarks. After praying about it for 3 1/2 weeks, God finally made His answer to my prayers ever so clearly. His answer was, "Yes." It was scary to hear this. This would mean the plans I had for my future for the next three years would change entirely. I would not be graduating from CofO with a degree in Nursing. So, what would I do? Where would I go? Well, with even more praying, surprise surprise, God answered me.
   It began in February. I job shadowed a License Practical Nurse (LPN) at Skaggs Hospital in Branson. I had never known what an LPN was and didn't think twice about asking or doing research on it. About a month later I received an Ozark Technical Community College (OTC) announcement in the mail, talking about their new campus opening down the road in the fall. I looked at the piece of paper and saw that they offered an LPN programme. I held on to the paper for some strange reason.
   One week later during spring break, I was working in the dorm office and a thought came to me - "What is an LPN?" I  don't know where the random thought came from, but I began to do some research. After hours of reading up on LPNs, this joy overcame me and I never thought I would even consider becoming an LPN. It would be a step below a Registered Nurse (RN), which is what I'm heading towards right now, and I was okay with that. I felt an LPN suited me better. I talked about the possibility of  heading in this new direction with my parents, my Pop and Cori. I prayed about this decision for almost two months. I needed a lot of answers from God if He was leading me down this road to become an LPN.
Where would I live during the summer and beyond that? How would I do financially with not currently having an off campus job? How will I get around with not currently having a vehicle?
I didn't know the answers, but I was trusting God and waiting for his response.

   I soon remembered that two of my friends were moving down to Branson to attend the new OTC campus. An answer to one of my questions. My two friends and I talked about it and figured out that it would work out for us three girls to get an apartment in the area and split the costs. Well, a little time went by and we started some apartment hunting and found a good deal on one of them that we thought would be the best. God was taking care of us. {A place to live during the middle of the summer through the next year was figured out. Check.}
   I began to pray about what to do during the first part of the summer - due to us not moving in until July. The semester ends the beginning of May and from then until July, where would I live? Where would I work to receive an income now and later down the road? As soon as I finish the semester I'll be visiting my sister for a week or so, but after that I am pretty much homeless. I began to worry about the whole situation. I knew that I shouldn't be worried, but I was. I began to talk to family friends and others to brainstorm and get some ideas for what to do. There was the possibility of staying with my aunt and working for her. There was the possibility of living with my friend's family and working for her dad. There was a possibility of being a camp counselor at a special needs camp that I had applied to. I wasn't sure what God had in mind, but I knew what I had in mind.
   I felt I was trusting God completely in this situation, but in all honesty I was not trusting Him. It wasn't until after I withdrew from CofO (I'm staying to finish out the semester) that I realised I had been telling myself, "Okay God, You show me where You want me, but if You don't, I have MY backup plan." It dawned on me that that was what I was doing - not wholeheartedly trusting the Lord with providing me a place to live. As soon as I realised it, I broke down and asked God to forgive me for not trusting Him. The verse that immediately came to me was 2 Corinthians 5:7, which says: "Walk by faith, not by sight." I was stepping out into open waters now with no backup plans and no answers from God, yet. It was and still is scary.
   I had withdrawn from the school this past Wednesday afternoon and as soon as I filled out the form to do so, I jokingly said to God, "Okay, where do I live?" expecting an answer right away. Thursday morning I was about to head to class when I got a phone call. About two weeks ago I sent in a really late application to Wonderland Camp to be a camp counselor. My expectations for hearing back from the camp was the next week. When they didn't get a hold of me, I figured I didn't have a chance. That would mean that possibility could be marked off the list. God had other plans. When I got the phone call, the man on the other end of the phone set up a phone interview with me for Monday for a position as a camp counselor! I feel really good about this and until I have my interview I'm trusting that God will work it out if He wants me there. If not, I'll continue to trust Him.{A place to live and work for the beginning of the summer. Check?}
   My vehicle and transportation issue is also still being figured out. Until I can save money to buy a car of my own, I will have to continue to ask others for help. I have several friends who have allowed me to borrow their cars and I have my bicycle to get around town and I might possibly have a moped to get around town as well. We shall see though. {Transportation met. Check?}

   The Lord is so amazing. He has been teaching me SO much this year that it's joyfully overwhelming! Most recently He has taught me to trust Him and wait on His timing. As difficult as it can be, it is so much easier knowing that you are not entirely responsible for certain decision making. Yes, we need to do our parts in life e.g. if we're jobless, go look for a job, and God will provide. Speaking of which, I still do not have a job in Branson for the last part of the summer and beyond, but I've been applying to different places and am hoping and trusting and waiting on God to hear back from one of the places. I know that God will take care of me financially, because He ALWAYS does.

   I very much look forward to see what will happen in the next few weeks. My life will be completely different. I'll be going from: working, sleeping and getting an education in one place, to working, sleeping and getting an education in three different places. I know that with these changes come different things. I may lose the stresses that I have now, but will gain different stresses with this transition. I will have to begin to make payments and fend for myself and not have my security blankets anymore. But, I will still have my amazing friends close by and support from my family. And as always, God will be constant in my life.