{This is in relations to my 'Walk By Faith, Not By Sight' post}
Today I was reminded of how the Lord truly does think of me.
The idea of being thought of by someone is something that would make anyone happy. The thought of someone taking that moment to lay aside any self-concerns or self-seeking thoughts or taking a moment in the middle of a busy day to wonder how someone other than themselves is doing in life, says a lot about a person. It reflects that they take action in being selfless and be considerate to wonder how a friend is doing. When we're not with someone or communicating with them through other ways, it's hard to know how they are truly doing and let's face it: How often do you think of the people who mean the most to you during the day? For me, it's occasionally. And everyday is different. Sometimes a specific person will randomly pop in my head and sometimes that person isn't thought of again for weeks.
How I see it is that God places others in my thoughts because He knows what that person is going through at that specific moment he brings that name to mind. How I deal with these people coming to mind? I've taken the response to praying for them. Recently I've had the most random people from way back in my past that have popped into my head and I wonder, "Hmm, what are they up to in life these days? Where are they living? I wonder how they're doing." I've learned that God has brought these people to mind because He knows what is going on in their life and need prayer. I have this desire to become a Prayer Warrior and I feel so privileged that God would allow someone to come to mind because He knows I will take the time to pray for them. I'll be honest, sometimes I don't pray because I just don't think about it. I'm trying to get into the habit of saying a prayer for the names that pop into my mind. Every once in awhile I will either leave a note, right a message or e-mail or text and let that special person that came to mind know that I was thinking of the. How encouraging and uplifting it is to hear those words.
Yesterday I learned that I did not get a spot in the Nursing programme I had applied for for this spring semester. I had been anticipating this moment to hear what my final status would be and had even begun to expect that I had not made it just to prepare myself. As disappointed as I am at this delay in my pursue towards Nursing, I know that God has a reason for this delay. It can be hard to trust that everything is going to work out for the best, but I know deep in my heart that everything truly will work out for the best. Maybe the Lord has specific people He wants me to encounter this semester; maybe He has plans to use me in ways He wouldn't be able to use me if I were in the programme; maybe I'm suppose to learn something from my classes this semester that will benefit my future; maybe my focuses will be different compared to what they might have been if I were in the programme; maybe it's to grow me in my relationship with the Lord. The list goes on.
This morning I woke up and was still a little upset and even discouraged about where I was at and the delay I'm encountering. I had some things to get done before I got started with my online course this morning. I needed to print off some assignments as well as get one of my books ordered from the OTC bookstore. I couldn't decide if I wanted to go to the library to print papers first or to get my book ordered. I decided to head to OTC to get that taken care of.
All morning I had been talking to God and just asking for guidance and strength and joy before heading out. I pulled into the OTC parking lot, parked my car and got out to head inside. As I was walking towards the building a gentleman was walking towards me. As we got closer he made the comment, "So much for warm weather!" I responded with, "I know, right?" We had almost passed each other when I realised that this man was the Nurse I had job shadowed in the ER last March! I stopped, called him by name and we started chatting. Although he recognised me, I reminded him of how we knew each other. It was just for a short two minutes that we chatted, but in that time I informed him that he was the person who impacted my life and encouraged me in my journey to becoming a Nurse and that I thought of him often! He was touched to hear that.
It's funny how little decisions will cause a certain outcome. If I had not gone to OTC before the library, I would not have come into contact with this man. Would God have used a different approach to remind me that He was thinking of me while at the library? I don't know. All I know is it was absolutely amazing that this man, that made a difference in my life and that I had not seen for almost a year and had no way of contacting him, was all of a sudden placed in front of me. On my journey this last year I know that God allowed me to job shadow this specific Nurse so that I could stay on the path He has planned for me. God used this man in my life to get me to where He has me today. I honestly feel like that was God saying, "Kelland, I'm thinking of you." It was also very encouraging as it made me remember that passion and those feelings I had while job shadowing in the hospital. It made me remember why I was pursuing the medical field. It was a reminder that God has not left me alone in this situations and is not making me try to figure things out for myself, but is with me in this journey.
My heart smiled at the sight of physically seeing God think of me and to take that moment to inform me He was thinking of me. He thinks of each one of us every second of the day and it's hard to comprehend that as well as remember it, but in moments like these it's such a beautiful reminder of who God is and how much He loves us.
"How precious are Your thoughts about me, O, God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them. They outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, You are still with me!"
Psalm 139:17,18
[Verse 17 has been my favourite verse for years now. How beautiful it has been to see God think of me.]
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Keep Focus, Make Improvements and Wait
I have been realising that there are some changes I need to make in my life and some improvements I need to make as well. I'm taking time to allow myself to bring into focus the things in life I need to give more attention to as well as things I need to reduce ---
There are friendships that I have lacked with investing time in and I feel God urging me to hang onto these people. I truly desire to keep and build these friendships as well as build new ones. This is where I will need to step in and initiate getting together with them instead of waiting for them to initiate getting together with me. God has blessed me with many friendships and they are one of the most important things in my life.
I need to be careful with how I spend my time. Time is precious and I really should not be wasting it by being on Pinterest or Facebook or watching tv. Weaning myself off of those things will be challenging, but doable. I need to be productive and use my time wisely. There are many things I could be doing. Last semester I said I was going to visit the Nursing home right down the road once a week. I did a couple of times, but didn't really stick with it. It's things like that, where I can be doing acts of service and reaching out to others, where I need to be spending my time. I'm praying the Lord will show me where I can do so.
Reducing how much I go out and spend money - shopping, drinks, restaurants, movies, etc. is another area I will be working on. God has blessed me with the money I have and I need to be a good steward of it and not spend it irresponsibly. Deciding how to use it will definitely make me put more effort into making choices that might need a second thought before making any permanent decisions.
There are events that need preparing for, such as Cori's wedding as well as a Secret I cannot share quite yet. All of those who are involved in these two areas are going to need help and support and I am thankful to be there for them. I will need to make sure that I am not lacking on my part and being caught up in things going on in my life and be sure I am aware and checking up on things going on around me and seeing where I can be of assistance.
Making an effort to do these things, as well as other things, will take practice and getting use to. I know that by changing these little areas in my life will not only affect others, but will also allow me to grow as a person.
"Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we must do good to everyone - especially to those in the family of faith." Galatians 6:10
Ever so gently is Africa tugging at my heart. I'm ready to go back. I'm ready to help others. I'm ready to have Jesus use me over there. I'm ready to go home. I am trying to not let these thoughts and feelings consume almost every corner of my mind, because it takes me away and makes me want to drop everything I have going on and GO. As appealing as that sounds, it wouldn't be the smartest action. As much as I long to head back to Africa, and I totally could, I know deep down that right now is not the time. Friends and family need me right now, especially when they are entering new chapters in their lives! The Lord is calling me to go to Africa one day and He hasn't made it clear when that time is, so in the mean time I need to be patient and continue on the path He has for me that will take me home. If I decided to head home now it would be under mainly selfish circumstances. It would reflect that I am not going to trust God in getting me there and that I could do it myself. I would not be successful in the things I want to be successful in and all due to trying to live life my way. I keep wondering if after these two big things take place, along with where I'm at with my education, if then God will take me home..? Ahh! It's too exciting to think about that I feel I could burst! I will not know what the Lord has planned for me until He reveals it to me. So in the mean time I must be patient and responsible and continue on the path He has for me, until He decides to direct me elsewhere.
"For He loves us with unfailing love; the Lord's faithfulness endures forever." Psalm 117:2
There are friendships that I have lacked with investing time in and I feel God urging me to hang onto these people. I truly desire to keep and build these friendships as well as build new ones. This is where I will need to step in and initiate getting together with them instead of waiting for them to initiate getting together with me. God has blessed me with many friendships and they are one of the most important things in my life.
I need to be careful with how I spend my time. Time is precious and I really should not be wasting it by being on Pinterest or Facebook or watching tv. Weaning myself off of those things will be challenging, but doable. I need to be productive and use my time wisely. There are many things I could be doing. Last semester I said I was going to visit the Nursing home right down the road once a week. I did a couple of times, but didn't really stick with it. It's things like that, where I can be doing acts of service and reaching out to others, where I need to be spending my time. I'm praying the Lord will show me where I can do so.
Reducing how much I go out and spend money - shopping, drinks, restaurants, movies, etc. is another area I will be working on. God has blessed me with the money I have and I need to be a good steward of it and not spend it irresponsibly. Deciding how to use it will definitely make me put more effort into making choices that might need a second thought before making any permanent decisions.
There are events that need preparing for, such as Cori's wedding as well as a Secret I cannot share quite yet. All of those who are involved in these two areas are going to need help and support and I am thankful to be there for them. I will need to make sure that I am not lacking on my part and being caught up in things going on in my life and be sure I am aware and checking up on things going on around me and seeing where I can be of assistance.
Making an effort to do these things, as well as other things, will take practice and getting use to. I know that by changing these little areas in my life will not only affect others, but will also allow me to grow as a person.
"Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we must do good to everyone - especially to those in the family of faith." Galatians 6:10
Ever so gently is Africa tugging at my heart. I'm ready to go back. I'm ready to help others. I'm ready to have Jesus use me over there. I'm ready to go home. I am trying to not let these thoughts and feelings consume almost every corner of my mind, because it takes me away and makes me want to drop everything I have going on and GO. As appealing as that sounds, it wouldn't be the smartest action. As much as I long to head back to Africa, and I totally could, I know deep down that right now is not the time. Friends and family need me right now, especially when they are entering new chapters in their lives! The Lord is calling me to go to Africa one day and He hasn't made it clear when that time is, so in the mean time I need to be patient and continue on the path He has for me that will take me home. If I decided to head home now it would be under mainly selfish circumstances. It would reflect that I am not going to trust God in getting me there and that I could do it myself. I would not be successful in the things I want to be successful in and all due to trying to live life my way. I keep wondering if after these two big things take place, along with where I'm at with my education, if then God will take me home..? Ahh! It's too exciting to think about that I feel I could burst! I will not know what the Lord has planned for me until He reveals it to me. So in the mean time I must be patient and responsible and continue on the path He has for me, until He decides to direct me elsewhere.
"For He loves us with unfailing love; the Lord's faithfulness endures forever." Psalm 117:2
Friday, January 10, 2014
Joy In My Heart In Times of the Unknown
The last few days I have been so encouraged and inspired by the music I've been listening to. While visiting my sister and brother-in-law in Lee's Summit last weekend I was introduced to Bethel Music. There is such praise, adoration and happiness found in their songs. Taking time to worship and acknowledge the Lord has to be one of the most uplifting things one can do during hard times as well as happy times. Singing about God and who He is and all He brings us is one of the most beautiful things in this world. Lyrics truly do have such a powerful impact on people and what kind of mood it can put someone in. The mood this kind of music puts me in is: happiness.
♪ This is what You do, You make me come alive ♪
My heart right now is filled with joy. The more I walk in this journey the Lord has me on, the more I am discovering about how faithful and trustworthy He is. I have messed up and taken detours in life recently and I have regrets and I have disappointment myself and I ask God, "How can You forgive me when I have let You down and been so selfish in my actions? How do I get out of these old ways of living? How are You going to use this later in my life?", etc. The answer to questions like these is simple - God is forgiving and He loves me despite the wrong I do and lets me go through certain things to experience more of who He is. I have to remember that each moment in life is a moment the Lord gives us to seek Him and all that He has planned for us.
There is joy in my heart, but there is also some fear. There are several unknowns in my future right now - schooling, career, marriage, place of living. Although I'm eager to know what these specific areas might look like and have moments of worry, I also have moments when that worry and fear are replaced by a peace that let's me not be concerned about what the future has to bring. It is tough to wait on the Lord's timing, but I've learned that His timing is always better than my timing (I usually realise this in hinds site.) Whatever each of those areas bring I know the Lord is in the process of molding me and preparing me for what is to come from each one. He is helping me to be more like Him and breaking me out of my fleshly habits, which has been more challenging than I thought it could be. He has given me a desire to be more like him and less like the ways of the world. Each day I have my struggles and feel like giving up and giving in, which I do sometimes, but the Lord is so faithful and encouraging that I know I can get up on my feet again, make it through and finish strong through my struggles. There is a lot the Lord has to teach me and prepare me for before I start in any of those areas in life.
One thing I'm trying to sort out is a backup plan just in case things do not fall through with the LPN programme this semester. My plan B is to reapply in the fall as well as apply to OTC's EMT programme. My thinking is that this might double my chances of getting my foot in the door somewhere, which is all I want to do at this point, but anything could happen. Things could easily change during this semester as well as over the summer. Should I look at other colleges to apply for their Nursing programmes? If so where all should I be applying to? Places in St Louis? Kansas City? Cape Giraradeau? The choices are endless. And what if nothing falls through, then what? I have no idea what results like that would mean for me. I know I need to take life one step at a time, but eish, it is tough.
Why do we waste so much time worrying about our future. God has each one of our live's in His hands and if we are living for Him and seeking His will for our lives, He will guide us each step of the way. There honestly shouldn't be any room in our lives for worry.
I'm ready for what the Lord has to bring me. My future is in His hands and I need to take pleasure in the days He has given me now and live life one day at a time.
"But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. I praise God for what He has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?" Psalm 56:3,4
♪ This is what You do, You make me come alive ♪
My heart right now is filled with joy. The more I walk in this journey the Lord has me on, the more I am discovering about how faithful and trustworthy He is. I have messed up and taken detours in life recently and I have regrets and I have disappointment myself and I ask God, "How can You forgive me when I have let You down and been so selfish in my actions? How do I get out of these old ways of living? How are You going to use this later in my life?", etc. The answer to questions like these is simple - God is forgiving and He loves me despite the wrong I do and lets me go through certain things to experience more of who He is. I have to remember that each moment in life is a moment the Lord gives us to seek Him and all that He has planned for us.
There is joy in my heart, but there is also some fear. There are several unknowns in my future right now - schooling, career, marriage, place of living. Although I'm eager to know what these specific areas might look like and have moments of worry, I also have moments when that worry and fear are replaced by a peace that let's me not be concerned about what the future has to bring. It is tough to wait on the Lord's timing, but I've learned that His timing is always better than my timing (I usually realise this in hinds site.) Whatever each of those areas bring I know the Lord is in the process of molding me and preparing me for what is to come from each one. He is helping me to be more like Him and breaking me out of my fleshly habits, which has been more challenging than I thought it could be. He has given me a desire to be more like him and less like the ways of the world. Each day I have my struggles and feel like giving up and giving in, which I do sometimes, but the Lord is so faithful and encouraging that I know I can get up on my feet again, make it through and finish strong through my struggles. There is a lot the Lord has to teach me and prepare me for before I start in any of those areas in life.
One thing I'm trying to sort out is a backup plan just in case things do not fall through with the LPN programme this semester. My plan B is to reapply in the fall as well as apply to OTC's EMT programme. My thinking is that this might double my chances of getting my foot in the door somewhere, which is all I want to do at this point, but anything could happen. Things could easily change during this semester as well as over the summer. Should I look at other colleges to apply for their Nursing programmes? If so where all should I be applying to? Places in St Louis? Kansas City? Cape Giraradeau? The choices are endless. And what if nothing falls through, then what? I have no idea what results like that would mean for me. I know I need to take life one step at a time, but eish, it is tough.
Why do we waste so much time worrying about our future. God has each one of our live's in His hands and if we are living for Him and seeking His will for our lives, He will guide us each step of the way. There honestly shouldn't be any room in our lives for worry.
I'm ready for what the Lord has to bring me. My future is in His hands and I need to take pleasure in the days He has given me now and live life one day at a time.
"But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. I praise God for what He has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?" Psalm 56:3,4
Friday, January 3, 2014
Preparing For What Is to Come
It is only the third day of the new year and already I have so much to prepare and plan for what is to happen this year. Now I know anything and even everything could change because God is the one who is in control, but I also know that I have to do my part in being ready.
I feel a bit anxious about all that needs to be done and when it needs to be done by, but I know that everything will fall into place and if it's God's Will, it'll take place in its own timing.
At this moment I am on the waiting list for the Nursing Programme I applied to and I'm waiting to see if I will start it this spring semester or if I start in the fall. I would love to start promptly, but I do have peace about not starting this semester. I know that there are several other important things coming up this year and if those things need more attention than what I can give if I am in the Nursing Programme in January, then it's not meant to be and it is better that I begin it at another time. I am more eager to know how this next semester is going to go more than being concerned if I start the next chapter in my pursue towards a Nursing career. I have two paths, that I know of, right now and which one I will take all depends on my full acceptance into the programme. The 13th January is the for sure day I will find out. God is certainly using this to continue to build my faith and full trust in Him. It's a good feeling to be challenged in walking the walk and not just talking the walk. Living by faith and not by sight is tough sometimes, but the more we do it, the easier it truly does become. I only know this from experience. The first time I walked out in faith blindly was the scariest thing, but because I acted on it and have seen results, there is less hesitation each time a situation comes up where I have to take that same action.
Much excitement and planning for the months my parents and brother are back in the states is building up in me! They plan on returning end of May and will stay until sometime in September! I look forward to seeing them after 1 1/2 years apart and being able to spend quality time with them and going on adventures and talking about old times together. It will be a great time and something my whole family is looking forward to. We plan on making the most of their time here!
Next, there is where to live once my lease is up in June. I've been praying about it, but haven't really received a full confirmation from God. I feel I should go in the direction of moving to Springfield due to future classes being located there and possible job opportunities in local hospitals and several affordable apartments to choose from to live in with my possible future roommate. I don't know why in this area of my life I'm nervous. I have seen God take care of me on more accounts than I can even share, but yet I hesitate in even thinking about taking a step in one direction because I want to follow God's plan for me, but I'm not one hundred percent sure that this is it. I believe it's God's way of helping me practice my trust in Him. I certainly will continue to pray for guidance in this step in life.
January 1st I applied for a position at Cox Branson Hospital and it would be absolutely amazing if I could get started in working in the medical field and even just having my foot in the door! I am eager to hear back from the department to see if they want me or not. I'm hoping and praying that if this door opens than it's God's possible plan for me. And if the door closes than God has something so much better for me! I know He has me where He wants me right now, maybe to be a helping hand to my coworkers in areas of their lives I don't know about or giving words of encouragement to customers that I interact with. It could even be as little as reaching out to to just one person and not multiple or to prepare me for future happenings. I'm not sure why God has me where I'm at right now, but I'm okay with that.
My best friend is getting married next year and there is a lot of planning that goes into that. I will be helping out with a majority of things and I know it will definitely be time consuming as well as fun! I look forward to helping plan a day that is beautiful and pleasing to God.
As this year throws many obstacles and events and situations my way, I trust that God is good and that He will not give me more than He knows I can handle.
"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He
is my God, and I trust Him."
Psalm 91:1,2
I feel a bit anxious about all that needs to be done and when it needs to be done by, but I know that everything will fall into place and if it's God's Will, it'll take place in its own timing.
At this moment I am on the waiting list for the Nursing Programme I applied to and I'm waiting to see if I will start it this spring semester or if I start in the fall. I would love to start promptly, but I do have peace about not starting this semester. I know that there are several other important things coming up this year and if those things need more attention than what I can give if I am in the Nursing Programme in January, then it's not meant to be and it is better that I begin it at another time. I am more eager to know how this next semester is going to go more than being concerned if I start the next chapter in my pursue towards a Nursing career. I have two paths, that I know of, right now and which one I will take all depends on my full acceptance into the programme. The 13th January is the for sure day I will find out. God is certainly using this to continue to build my faith and full trust in Him. It's a good feeling to be challenged in walking the walk and not just talking the walk. Living by faith and not by sight is tough sometimes, but the more we do it, the easier it truly does become. I only know this from experience. The first time I walked out in faith blindly was the scariest thing, but because I acted on it and have seen results, there is less hesitation each time a situation comes up where I have to take that same action.
Much excitement and planning for the months my parents and brother are back in the states is building up in me! They plan on returning end of May and will stay until sometime in September! I look forward to seeing them after 1 1/2 years apart and being able to spend quality time with them and going on adventures and talking about old times together. It will be a great time and something my whole family is looking forward to. We plan on making the most of their time here!
Next, there is where to live once my lease is up in June. I've been praying about it, but haven't really received a full confirmation from God. I feel I should go in the direction of moving to Springfield due to future classes being located there and possible job opportunities in local hospitals and several affordable apartments to choose from to live in with my possible future roommate. I don't know why in this area of my life I'm nervous. I have seen God take care of me on more accounts than I can even share, but yet I hesitate in even thinking about taking a step in one direction because I want to follow God's plan for me, but I'm not one hundred percent sure that this is it. I believe it's God's way of helping me practice my trust in Him. I certainly will continue to pray for guidance in this step in life.
January 1st I applied for a position at Cox Branson Hospital and it would be absolutely amazing if I could get started in working in the medical field and even just having my foot in the door! I am eager to hear back from the department to see if they want me or not. I'm hoping and praying that if this door opens than it's God's possible plan for me. And if the door closes than God has something so much better for me! I know He has me where He wants me right now, maybe to be a helping hand to my coworkers in areas of their lives I don't know about or giving words of encouragement to customers that I interact with. It could even be as little as reaching out to to just one person and not multiple or to prepare me for future happenings. I'm not sure why God has me where I'm at right now, but I'm okay with that.
My best friend is getting married next year and there is a lot of planning that goes into that. I will be helping out with a majority of things and I know it will definitely be time consuming as well as fun! I look forward to helping plan a day that is beautiful and pleasing to God.
As this year throws many obstacles and events and situations my way, I trust that God is good and that He will not give me more than He knows I can handle.
"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He
is my God, and I trust Him."
Psalm 91:1,2
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Happy New Year 2014!
Happy 2014! What a great time to reflect on the past year and to see all that God has done for me and the ways He took care of me. I look back to a year ago and I cannot believe how much I have grown in so many areas of my life. I feel ready for another year and all that it has to bring, because I know that God will walk with me and help and guide me. I am expecting hard times and I know no matter what God will teach me something through it and be there with me to get through it.
As I take a glimpse at what the new year brings I have excitement, anxiousness, eagerness and peace. There are many things planned to happen this year and I look forward to see how and even if they play out! As ready as I am for certain events to occur now, I know that I must be patient and trust God. I am excited to be one step closer to getting into my career and I am looking forward to be seeing my family again for the first time in 1 1/2 years! I look forward to growing in my relationship with the Lord and to see what plans and adventures He has for me and everything He has to teach me. I already know He has called me to do certain things and I hope and pray that I will have the confidence and strength and motivation to do what He has called me to do.
I feel so blessed to be able to see another year and all that will occur and to make new memories!
As I take a glimpse at what the new year brings I have excitement, anxiousness, eagerness and peace. There are many things planned to happen this year and I look forward to see how and even if they play out! As ready as I am for certain events to occur now, I know that I must be patient and trust God. I am excited to be one step closer to getting into my career and I am looking forward to be seeing my family again for the first time in 1 1/2 years! I look forward to growing in my relationship with the Lord and to see what plans and adventures He has for me and everything He has to teach me. I already know He has called me to do certain things and I hope and pray that I will have the confidence and strength and motivation to do what He has called me to do.
I feel so blessed to be able to see another year and all that will occur and to make new memories!
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