Lord,
I know in my heart that you are always with me, but some days I still feel lonely. You remind me that You are by my side, holding my hand and walking with me as the day goes on. A lot of times I feel Your presence, but some days I do not. Those days are tough. I believe the enemy takes advantage of those times and tries to place it in my head that I am forgotten, not cared about and that I am unimportant.
You are greater and You always conquer those thoughts through the words You speak to me when I read Your Word, through moments of worship, through people saying things that only You knew I needed to hear and by displaying Your beautiful creation in my eye's view.
Father, one way I have come to realise how you display Your physical touch and words of affirmation and love for me is through Cori Nicole. I believe you have placed her in my life for several reasons, but I strongly believe that You placed her in my life, because You use her for the time being to fill my longings for You with: hugs, words of encouragement, reminders of how gracious and loving and faithful You are and so much more! How ecstatic I am to one day hug You, hear Your verbal voice and see You face to face. Thank You for blessing me with my best friend. I cannot be more grateful for the love and friendship I have with her. I appreciate that we have a love for You that is beautiful and far more amazing than words can say.
I cannot thank You enough for all You have done for me. No matter how many times I mess up You are still standing there with arms opened wide, accepting me for who I am and what I've done and saying, "Kelland, I love you despite the mistakes you make. You are My child and there is nothing you can do that would make Me love you less." Knowing this makes life so beautiful!
Father, my heart's desire is to live a life for You. A life that shines You on others and a life that pleases You. I know I will stumble on this journey, but I also know You will guide me on this path. Speak to me and help me to be more like You in every area of my life. Give me confidence, strength and joy that will allow me to accomplish the tasks You have for me each day. Help me to live one day at a time and to seek You in everything that I do. I ask that my trust in You will be strengthen each day and that I can be patient in waiting on Your timing. Lord, You overwhelm my soul with all that You are and I cannot thank You enough.
I love You with all of my heart.
♫ I'm found in grace
In love's embrace
My heart is overwhelmed ♫
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
My Heart's Deepest Longing
It has been a long, emotional journey, but I've been getting through it with God holding me up during my weak moments. I have my days when I'm happy and content with where God has me in life, but I also have days when I long and desire for more. I have learned to find full contentment in Christ, but I still crave that presence of a significant other, to share words, experiences, laughs and so much more with. I long for companionship. God has been there for me through it all and has helped me on this path, this chapter in my life.
I do not know what God has planned for my future. I would like to think it includes a godly husband, children and a life in Africa (or overseas). None of those are promised to me or guaranteed. As hard as it is to admit and say that, it's truth. It allows me to lay aside those possible distractions and come back to the present and turn to Jesus and find contentment in Him and choose to have Him fill my wants and desires.
He is gracious, loving, beautiful, forgiving, peaceful, almighty, amazing, a provider and a comforter. He has been my strength through this past year and I am ever so thankful. I have seen who He is and I stand in awe. Each day my love for Him continually grows and my desire to know Him more intimate grows beyond anything I ever thought possible.
I struggle with my flesh each day and it is so frustrating. So many times God has allowed me to overcome my fleshly desires and the more often I choose to do so I strive to do so every time! It's a challenge and I fail multiple times, but as amazing of a feeling it is to act and respond Christ-like is a beautiful feeling! One longing I have right now is to act, respond and be more Christ-like in all that I do. It will definitely be a challenge, but one I am willing taking on.
As much as I want and long for a husband and a family, I need to focus on the things Christ has planned for me in my life right now. It's tough to not be distracted by the things around me and I want to see what Christ has for me. I don't want to miss what He has for me to do right now. As I come to focus more on what God is saying to me, I will live my life for Him and continue to trust in who He is and what He has.
♫ Set a fire down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control, I want more of You God, more of You God. There's no place I would rather be, than here in Your love ♫
I do not know what God has planned for my future. I would like to think it includes a godly husband, children and a life in Africa (or overseas). None of those are promised to me or guaranteed. As hard as it is to admit and say that, it's truth. It allows me to lay aside those possible distractions and come back to the present and turn to Jesus and find contentment in Him and choose to have Him fill my wants and desires.
He is gracious, loving, beautiful, forgiving, peaceful, almighty, amazing, a provider and a comforter. He has been my strength through this past year and I am ever so thankful. I have seen who He is and I stand in awe. Each day my love for Him continually grows and my desire to know Him more intimate grows beyond anything I ever thought possible.
I struggle with my flesh each day and it is so frustrating. So many times God has allowed me to overcome my fleshly desires and the more often I choose to do so I strive to do so every time! It's a challenge and I fail multiple times, but as amazing of a feeling it is to act and respond Christ-like is a beautiful feeling! One longing I have right now is to act, respond and be more Christ-like in all that I do. It will definitely be a challenge, but one I am willing taking on.
As much as I want and long for a husband and a family, I need to focus on the things Christ has planned for me in my life right now. It's tough to not be distracted by the things around me and I want to see what Christ has for me. I don't want to miss what He has for me to do right now. As I come to focus more on what God is saying to me, I will live my life for Him and continue to trust in who He is and what He has.
♫ Set a fire down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control, I want more of You God, more of You God. There's no place I would rather be, than here in Your love ♫
Saturday, July 13, 2013
A Wonderful Summer Experience
Back in March I had to figure out and make a decision on where I would be spending the first part of my summer - after the school semester and before I moved into my apartment in July. I prayed about it and did some research and asked people for ideas. I decided on being a camp councilor somewhere in the southern part of Missouri. I applied to a few places (although I had already missed all the deadlines) and prayed that if this was what God wanted me to do He would open a door for me. Sure enough He opened the door for me to go to Wonderland Camp - A camp for physically and mentally disable individuals. I had my phone interview with them, got the job one week later and two weeks after the semester ended found myself at Lake of the Ozarks in Rocky Mount, Missouri for the next few weeks. I was excited about getting this opportunity to work in this type of environment and knew it wouldn't be easy, but approached it with an open mind. I learned SO much while at camp. Not only different ways of working with special needs and helping them, but just viewing things a little differently and growing in different areas of my life.
One of the first and big things that God taught me was patience. From the beginning of the year I have asked God to help me with patience and sure enough He helped put it into practice at camp. I use to think I was a fairly patient person, but didn't realise how much growing I still had to do in this area of life. I have grown so much in my patience and I know that by continuing to put it into practice it will follow me and help me in my life with coworkers, friends, family, patients, etc.
Being flexible was a big thing that I had to learn. Just because the schedule says crafts was at 9:30 didn't mean you were always going to get done with breakfast by then to make it to the activity on time.
I also learned to be less judgmental and not to think certain things about people who look to fit a specific stereotype. Just because someone has an emo look or is in a fraternity/sorority at college or is a homosexual or is just different doesn't mean that they don't have a calling to serve others. Everyone I worked with at this camp had their own life stories and came from a different background, but we were all there for one reason: To Serve Others. It was amazing to see the different kinds of workers interact with the special needs and love on them and be the camper's best friend for the week. I have made new friendships with my fellow coworkers as well as campers and it has been awesome.
The campers especially touched my life in so many ways. Each week we experienced a lot of hard times and we struggled, but we got through it. During each week I would look at my campers and think, "Lord, as frustrated as I get with these individuals You still love them for the way they are - the way You created them. You don't love them and see them differently than the way You love and see me." Now, how awesome is it to know that God's love is equal amongst His children? It makes me want to be even more loving and accepting of others.
With having to deal a lot with mentally and physically disable people, I would become tired in both of those areas. I found that I was able to maintain my strength and sanity in taking time throughout the day to talk to God and let Him know how I was feeling and that I couldn't do this alone and He always helped me through each day. I found that although I was constantly surround by people I still struggled with loneliness. My loneliness was cured by taking time to talk to God and pray and read my 'Jesus Calling' devotional.
In the end of my whole experience this past summer, I have absolutely loved and enjoyed all that I did and I learned so many things that will benefit me later in life as I enter the medical field. I have discovered that special needs is not my expertise. I do not mind working in this of environment, but I would not be able to make a career of it. I definitely developed respect towards the camper's caregivers. I never put thought into how challenging it must be to take care of someone who constantly needs supervision and assistance with daily tasks that we take for granted. I greatly appreciate their calling into what they do.
At the end of my time at camp I questioned as to how God will use this experience later in my life. I know being in the medical field it will benefit me a lot, but it also got me thinking on whether I will someday have a special needs child or my husband will become disable or a dear friend of mine or sibling has a child with a disability - the possibilities are endless. The fact is: I don't know how or where God will use this experience in my life. All I know is that I am ready to face the future with whatever God brings into my life.
One of the first and big things that God taught me was patience. From the beginning of the year I have asked God to help me with patience and sure enough He helped put it into practice at camp. I use to think I was a fairly patient person, but didn't realise how much growing I still had to do in this area of life. I have grown so much in my patience and I know that by continuing to put it into practice it will follow me and help me in my life with coworkers, friends, family, patients, etc.
Being flexible was a big thing that I had to learn. Just because the schedule says crafts was at 9:30 didn't mean you were always going to get done with breakfast by then to make it to the activity on time.
I also learned to be less judgmental and not to think certain things about people who look to fit a specific stereotype. Just because someone has an emo look or is in a fraternity/sorority at college or is a homosexual or is just different doesn't mean that they don't have a calling to serve others. Everyone I worked with at this camp had their own life stories and came from a different background, but we were all there for one reason: To Serve Others. It was amazing to see the different kinds of workers interact with the special needs and love on them and be the camper's best friend for the week. I have made new friendships with my fellow coworkers as well as campers and it has been awesome.
The campers especially touched my life in so many ways. Each week we experienced a lot of hard times and we struggled, but we got through it. During each week I would look at my campers and think, "Lord, as frustrated as I get with these individuals You still love them for the way they are - the way You created them. You don't love them and see them differently than the way You love and see me." Now, how awesome is it to know that God's love is equal amongst His children? It makes me want to be even more loving and accepting of others.
With having to deal a lot with mentally and physically disable people, I would become tired in both of those areas. I found that I was able to maintain my strength and sanity in taking time throughout the day to talk to God and let Him know how I was feeling and that I couldn't do this alone and He always helped me through each day. I found that although I was constantly surround by people I still struggled with loneliness. My loneliness was cured by taking time to talk to God and pray and read my 'Jesus Calling' devotional.
In the end of my whole experience this past summer, I have absolutely loved and enjoyed all that I did and I learned so many things that will benefit me later in life as I enter the medical field. I have discovered that special needs is not my expertise. I do not mind working in this of environment, but I would not be able to make a career of it. I definitely developed respect towards the camper's caregivers. I never put thought into how challenging it must be to take care of someone who constantly needs supervision and assistance with daily tasks that we take for granted. I greatly appreciate their calling into what they do.
At the end of my time at camp I questioned as to how God will use this experience later in my life. I know being in the medical field it will benefit me a lot, but it also got me thinking on whether I will someday have a special needs child or my husband will become disable or a dear friend of mine or sibling has a child with a disability - the possibilities are endless. The fact is: I don't know how or where God will use this experience in my life. All I know is that I am ready to face the future with whatever God brings into my life.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Overwhelmed with His Blessings
Lord,
You are good. You are love. You are faithful. You are reliable. You are my happiness.You are my heart's desire. You, Oh Lord, are my everything.
I praise You and thank You for all the blessings You have bestowed on me, but I thank You mostly for the people You have placed in my life.
The past few years You have helped me to put down my pridefulness and be able to ask others for help when I need it. It's such a hard thing to do as human beings, because we see it as a sign of weakness. In fact it is just the opposite. If we are able to reach out and ask our brothers and sisters in Christ for help, that shows signs of strength. We are able to lay aside our pride and depend on our Christian family to help carry our burdens, which You said we should not carry alone.
Lord, in the past few days, and even weeks, You have reminded me of those who are reaching out to me and longing to help me and take care of me now. Their small blessings and encouraging and kind words towards me go a long way and I am thankful. These people will never know how much they've touched my heart and my life. I ask that You would bless them in return.
God, in the past few months You have been faithful and loving to me. I don't know why I continue to be surprised by You, but You amaze me everyday. You show me something new and something worthwhile and speak to me each day. It has kept life refreshing and full of happiness and positiveness. I've experienced my lowest of lows in life and during that time I was living life my way, not Yours. Without letting You have control of my life was the hardest thing I've experienced and I've just realised that. When You are in control, life may not always go the way I expect it, but You will not leave me or keep me in the dark. I desire to always rely and trust you wholeheartedly.
Father, You know the desires of my heart and what I most long for. As patient as I have been in certain areas of my life, I pray that I will be patient in these other areas of my life. Help me to be so lost in Your love that it would allow me and help me to wait. I've experienced and know that Your timing is always the best timing for my life and what You have planned for it. These longings are tearing at my heart and I ask that You would allow me to wait, patiently.
Lord, I love you with all of my heart.
You are good. You are love. You are faithful. You are reliable. You are my happiness.You are my heart's desire. You, Oh Lord, are my everything.
I praise You and thank You for all the blessings You have bestowed on me, but I thank You mostly for the people You have placed in my life.
The past few years You have helped me to put down my pridefulness and be able to ask others for help when I need it. It's such a hard thing to do as human beings, because we see it as a sign of weakness. In fact it is just the opposite. If we are able to reach out and ask our brothers and sisters in Christ for help, that shows signs of strength. We are able to lay aside our pride and depend on our Christian family to help carry our burdens, which You said we should not carry alone.
Lord, in the past few days, and even weeks, You have reminded me of those who are reaching out to me and longing to help me and take care of me now. Their small blessings and encouraging and kind words towards me go a long way and I am thankful. These people will never know how much they've touched my heart and my life. I ask that You would bless them in return.
God, in the past few months You have been faithful and loving to me. I don't know why I continue to be surprised by You, but You amaze me everyday. You show me something new and something worthwhile and speak to me each day. It has kept life refreshing and full of happiness and positiveness. I've experienced my lowest of lows in life and during that time I was living life my way, not Yours. Without letting You have control of my life was the hardest thing I've experienced and I've just realised that. When You are in control, life may not always go the way I expect it, but You will not leave me or keep me in the dark. I desire to always rely and trust you wholeheartedly.
Father, You know the desires of my heart and what I most long for. As patient as I have been in certain areas of my life, I pray that I will be patient in these other areas of my life. Help me to be so lost in Your love that it would allow me and help me to wait. I've experienced and know that Your timing is always the best timing for my life and what You have planned for it. These longings are tearing at my heart and I ask that You would allow me to wait, patiently.
Lord, I love you with all of my heart.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Walk By Faith, Not By Sight
In reference to one of my previous post on 'Praying and Trusting', I have a followup.
My decision that I was praying about was leaving College of the Ozarks. After praying about it for 3 1/2 weeks, God finally made His answer to my prayers ever so clearly. His answer was, "Yes." It was scary to hear this. This would mean the plans I had for my future for the next three years would change entirely. I would not be graduating from CofO with a degree in Nursing. So, what would I do? Where would I go? Well, with even more praying, surprise surprise, God answered me.
It began in February. I job shadowed a License Practical Nurse (LPN) at Skaggs Hospital in Branson. I had never known what an LPN was and didn't think twice about asking or doing research on it. About a month later I received an Ozark Technical Community College (OTC) announcement in the mail, talking about their new campus opening down the road in the fall. I looked at the piece of paper and saw that they offered an LPN programme. I held on to the paper for some strange reason.
One week later during spring break, I was working in the dorm office and a thought came to me - "What is an LPN?" I don't know where the random thought came from, but I began to do some research. After hours of reading up on LPNs, this joy overcame me and I never thought I would even consider becoming an LPN. It would be a step below a Registered Nurse (RN), which is what I'm heading towards right now, and I was okay with that. I felt an LPN suited me better. I talked about the possibility of heading in this new direction with my parents, my Pop and Cori. I prayed about this decision for almost two months. I needed a lot of answers from God if He was leading me down this road to become an LPN.
Where would I live during the summer and beyond that? How would I do financially with not currently having an off campus job? How will I get around with not currently having a vehicle?
I didn't know the answers, but I was trusting God and waiting for his response.
I soon remembered that two of my friends were moving down to Branson to attend the new OTC campus. An answer to one of my questions. My two friends and I talked about it and figured out that it would work out for us three girls to get an apartment in the area and split the costs. Well, a little time went by and we started some apartment hunting and found a good deal on one of them that we thought would be the best. God was taking care of us. {A place to live during the middle of the summer through the next year was figured out. Check.}
I began to pray about what to do during the first part of the summer - due to us not moving in until July. The semester ends the beginning of May and from then until July, where would I live? Where would I work to receive an income now and later down the road? As soon as I finish the semester I'll be visiting my sister for a week or so, but after that I am pretty much homeless. I began to worry about the whole situation. I knew that I shouldn't be worried, but I was. I began to talk to family friends and others to brainstorm and get some ideas for what to do. There was the possibility of staying with my aunt and working for her. There was the possibility of living with my friend's family and working for her dad. There was a possibility of being a camp counselor at a special needs camp that I had applied to. I wasn't sure what God had in mind, but I knew what I had in mind.
I felt I was trusting God completely in this situation, but in all honesty I was not trusting Him. It wasn't until after I withdrew from CofO (I'm staying to finish out the semester) that I realised I had been telling myself, "Okay God, You show me where You want me, but if You don't, I have MY backup plan." It dawned on me that that was what I was doing - not wholeheartedly trusting the Lord with providing me a place to live. As soon as I realised it, I broke down and asked God to forgive me for not trusting Him. The verse that immediately came to me was 2 Corinthians 5:7, which says: "Walk by faith, not by sight." I was stepping out into open waters now with no backup plans and no answers from God, yet. It was and still is scary.
I had withdrawn from the school this past Wednesday afternoon and as soon as I filled out the form to do so, I jokingly said to God, "Okay, where do I live?" expecting an answer right away. Thursday morning I was about to head to class when I got a phone call. About two weeks ago I sent in a really late application to Wonderland Camp to be a camp counselor. My expectations for hearing back from the camp was the next week. When they didn't get a hold of me, I figured I didn't have a chance. That would mean that possibility could be marked off the list. God had other plans. When I got the phone call, the man on the other end of the phone set up a phone interview with me for Monday for a position as a camp counselor! I feel really good about this and until I have my interview I'm trusting that God will work it out if He wants me there. If not, I'll continue to trust Him.{A place to live and work for the beginning of the summer. Check?}
My vehicle and transportation issue is also still being figured out. Until I can save money to buy a car of my own, I will have to continue to ask others for help. I have several friends who have allowed me to borrow their cars and I have my bicycle to get around town and I might possibly have a moped to get around town as well. We shall see though. {Transportation met. Check?}
The Lord is so amazing. He has been teaching me SO much this year that it's joyfully overwhelming! Most recently He has taught me to trust Him and wait on His timing. As difficult as it can be, it is so much easier knowing that you are not entirely responsible for certain decision making. Yes, we need to do our parts in life e.g. if we're jobless, go look for a job, and God will provide. Speaking of which, I still do not have a job in Branson for the last part of the summer and beyond, but I've been applying to different places and am hoping and trusting and waiting on God to hear back from one of the places. I know that God will take care of me financially, because He ALWAYS does.
I very much look forward to see what will happen in the next few weeks. My life will be completely different. I'll be going from: working, sleeping and getting an education in one place, to working, sleeping and getting an education in three different places. I know that with these changes come different things. I may lose the stresses that I have now, but will gain different stresses with this transition. I will have to begin to make payments and fend for myself and not have my security blankets anymore. But, I will still have my amazing friends close by and support from my family. And as always, God will be constant in my life.
My decision that I was praying about was leaving College of the Ozarks. After praying about it for 3 1/2 weeks, God finally made His answer to my prayers ever so clearly. His answer was, "Yes." It was scary to hear this. This would mean the plans I had for my future for the next three years would change entirely. I would not be graduating from CofO with a degree in Nursing. So, what would I do? Where would I go? Well, with even more praying, surprise surprise, God answered me.
It began in February. I job shadowed a License Practical Nurse (LPN) at Skaggs Hospital in Branson. I had never known what an LPN was and didn't think twice about asking or doing research on it. About a month later I received an Ozark Technical Community College (OTC) announcement in the mail, talking about their new campus opening down the road in the fall. I looked at the piece of paper and saw that they offered an LPN programme. I held on to the paper for some strange reason.
One week later during spring break, I was working in the dorm office and a thought came to me - "What is an LPN?" I don't know where the random thought came from, but I began to do some research. After hours of reading up on LPNs, this joy overcame me and I never thought I would even consider becoming an LPN. It would be a step below a Registered Nurse (RN), which is what I'm heading towards right now, and I was okay with that. I felt an LPN suited me better. I talked about the possibility of heading in this new direction with my parents, my Pop and Cori. I prayed about this decision for almost two months. I needed a lot of answers from God if He was leading me down this road to become an LPN.
Where would I live during the summer and beyond that? How would I do financially with not currently having an off campus job? How will I get around with not currently having a vehicle?
I didn't know the answers, but I was trusting God and waiting for his response.
I soon remembered that two of my friends were moving down to Branson to attend the new OTC campus. An answer to one of my questions. My two friends and I talked about it and figured out that it would work out for us three girls to get an apartment in the area and split the costs. Well, a little time went by and we started some apartment hunting and found a good deal on one of them that we thought would be the best. God was taking care of us. {A place to live during the middle of the summer through the next year was figured out. Check.}
I began to pray about what to do during the first part of the summer - due to us not moving in until July. The semester ends the beginning of May and from then until July, where would I live? Where would I work to receive an income now and later down the road? As soon as I finish the semester I'll be visiting my sister for a week or so, but after that I am pretty much homeless. I began to worry about the whole situation. I knew that I shouldn't be worried, but I was. I began to talk to family friends and others to brainstorm and get some ideas for what to do. There was the possibility of staying with my aunt and working for her. There was the possibility of living with my friend's family and working for her dad. There was a possibility of being a camp counselor at a special needs camp that I had applied to. I wasn't sure what God had in mind, but I knew what I had in mind.
I felt I was trusting God completely in this situation, but in all honesty I was not trusting Him. It wasn't until after I withdrew from CofO (I'm staying to finish out the semester) that I realised I had been telling myself, "Okay God, You show me where You want me, but if You don't, I have MY backup plan." It dawned on me that that was what I was doing - not wholeheartedly trusting the Lord with providing me a place to live. As soon as I realised it, I broke down and asked God to forgive me for not trusting Him. The verse that immediately came to me was 2 Corinthians 5:7, which says: "Walk by faith, not by sight." I was stepping out into open waters now with no backup plans and no answers from God, yet. It was and still is scary.
I had withdrawn from the school this past Wednesday afternoon and as soon as I filled out the form to do so, I jokingly said to God, "Okay, where do I live?" expecting an answer right away. Thursday morning I was about to head to class when I got a phone call. About two weeks ago I sent in a really late application to Wonderland Camp to be a camp counselor. My expectations for hearing back from the camp was the next week. When they didn't get a hold of me, I figured I didn't have a chance. That would mean that possibility could be marked off the list. God had other plans. When I got the phone call, the man on the other end of the phone set up a phone interview with me for Monday for a position as a camp counselor! I feel really good about this and until I have my interview I'm trusting that God will work it out if He wants me there. If not, I'll continue to trust Him.{A place to live and work for the beginning of the summer. Check?}
My vehicle and transportation issue is also still being figured out. Until I can save money to buy a car of my own, I will have to continue to ask others for help. I have several friends who have allowed me to borrow their cars and I have my bicycle to get around town and I might possibly have a moped to get around town as well. We shall see though. {Transportation met. Check?}
The Lord is so amazing. He has been teaching me SO much this year that it's joyfully overwhelming! Most recently He has taught me to trust Him and wait on His timing. As difficult as it can be, it is so much easier knowing that you are not entirely responsible for certain decision making. Yes, we need to do our parts in life e.g. if we're jobless, go look for a job, and God will provide. Speaking of which, I still do not have a job in Branson for the last part of the summer and beyond, but I've been applying to different places and am hoping and trusting and waiting on God to hear back from one of the places. I know that God will take care of me financially, because He ALWAYS does.
I very much look forward to see what will happen in the next few weeks. My life will be completely different. I'll be going from: working, sleeping and getting an education in one place, to working, sleeping and getting an education in three different places. I know that with these changes come different things. I may lose the stresses that I have now, but will gain different stresses with this transition. I will have to begin to make payments and fend for myself and not have my security blankets anymore. But, I will still have my amazing friends close by and support from my family. And as always, God will be constant in my life.
Things to Remember
This past weekend, my best friend, Cori, and I took a road trip to St Louis to visit my grandparents. It was filled with adventure, wrong turns, shopping, the zoo, seeing old family friends, quality time and a lot of time for enjoyable conversation. I hadn't realised until the end of the trip that God was showing me things and teaching me things the whole weekend.
First of all, I am so thankful and blessed to have an amazing best friend who I can confide in, trust, enjoy conversation or silence with, communicate well with, and so much more. I realised how important it is to have friends to be able to do these things with. God puts people into our lives for a reason. He gives us friends to fellowship with and to encourage one another. This trip was a way God blessed me in allowing quality time (which is one of my receiving love languages) with someone who means so much to me!
Sunday, Cori and I visited my old church, Have Bible Will Travel. I hadn't been there in over two years, so it was so good to be back and see familiar faces and be in a familiar environment. Now, Have Bible is not your typical church - it's a biker church. The rough and tough people with tattoos; the ones who have drug and prostitution and drinking backgrounds - yeah, it's different, but it's what I grew up with when my dad started it several years ago. During our time there I had so many flashbacks and it reminded me how much I truly missed being around those types of people. It made me more appreciative of having had the opportunity to grow up with accepting people as they are, no matter what their background.
This was Cori's first time experiencing this type of environment and at the end of our visit there she shared with me that she loved it. She loved being around those who come as they are and how real they are giving their praise and worship to God and shouting 'amen' to everything they agreed with from what the pastor shared. The people were friendly, welcoming and non-judgmental. As Christians we are called to be Christ-like, which means not judging others, but sadly we are some of the ones who are the most judgmental towards others. It doesn't matter what your appearance is at church. You don't have to look like life is together for you. You don't have to look your best. We are called to 'come as we are' to worship our Father and give him praise. These are some of the things you find at Have Bible.
This trip showed me that I need to begin to really watch myself when it comes to judging others. It showed me that strengthening a friendship is so important. I was able to listen to Cori's thoughts and her point of view on the weekend and what God was teaching her. It was a wonderful get-a-way from campus and much needed. I pray that God allows more times like those in the future.
First of all, I am so thankful and blessed to have an amazing best friend who I can confide in, trust, enjoy conversation or silence with, communicate well with, and so much more. I realised how important it is to have friends to be able to do these things with. God puts people into our lives for a reason. He gives us friends to fellowship with and to encourage one another. This trip was a way God blessed me in allowing quality time (which is one of my receiving love languages) with someone who means so much to me!
Sunday, Cori and I visited my old church, Have Bible Will Travel. I hadn't been there in over two years, so it was so good to be back and see familiar faces and be in a familiar environment. Now, Have Bible is not your typical church - it's a biker church. The rough and tough people with tattoos; the ones who have drug and prostitution and drinking backgrounds - yeah, it's different, but it's what I grew up with when my dad started it several years ago. During our time there I had so many flashbacks and it reminded me how much I truly missed being around those types of people. It made me more appreciative of having had the opportunity to grow up with accepting people as they are, no matter what their background.
This was Cori's first time experiencing this type of environment and at the end of our visit there she shared with me that she loved it. She loved being around those who come as they are and how real they are giving their praise and worship to God and shouting 'amen' to everything they agreed with from what the pastor shared. The people were friendly, welcoming and non-judgmental. As Christians we are called to be Christ-like, which means not judging others, but sadly we are some of the ones who are the most judgmental towards others. It doesn't matter what your appearance is at church. You don't have to look like life is together for you. You don't have to look your best. We are called to 'come as we are' to worship our Father and give him praise. These are some of the things you find at Have Bible.
This trip showed me that I need to begin to really watch myself when it comes to judging others. It showed me that strengthening a friendship is so important. I was able to listen to Cori's thoughts and her point of view on the weekend and what God was teaching her. It was a wonderful get-a-way from campus and much needed. I pray that God allows more times like those in the future.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Praying & Trusting
Recently I've been having to make decisions in my life that will affect my future plans. It occurred a little over three weeks ago when I felt God was showing me a new path to take in my life. I did some research and looked more into this new possible route I would take. The more I looked into it the more excited I became! I had to stop and meditate on the choices I would be making. I had to be sure that I would not be making these choices selfishly and that if I did decide on this path over the other it would be because it was from God and I was not trying to find the easy way out.
In trying to decide what to do in this situation I found myself constantly and vigorously praying for direction, guidance and answers. I have had those closes to me praying for me as well. During this time of praying, some things began to surface about what I would do to survive if I took this new path and if everything would really work out - job wise, money wise. I began to find myself worrying and trying to make everything workout. But due to the fact that I was praying about what to do and having that one-on-one time with God, He was able to remind me that: I need to trust Him with this! In my morning devotions it has talked about 'trust' a lot and praying and waiting and how we need to stop trying to work everything out by ourselves. He is taking care of us always. I'm not going to lie, I am scared to take this next step and even hesitant. It'll mean I have to step out of my safety net. Am I ready to do that? Yes, I believe I am because I know God will be with me every step of the way.
I am trying to make it a habit that when I'm feeling down or uncertain or hesitant or burdened, that I need to take it to God immediately, because He does not want us to deal with these things on our own. He is there to uplift us and carry us! It has become easier with practice and it has been such an amazing reminder of how I need to live my life, not only in times of when decisions need to be made, but in our normal living too!
In other areas of my life, God is teaching me a lot about what it means to wait on Him. It was very difficult to wait on His timing at first, but it has become easier. It is a whole lot less stressful when I wait on God's timing instead of trying to make things happen on my time. I still have a hard time waiting, but I know that it will be worth it in the end! I believe the reason for this 'waiting on His timing' has become easier is because He has given me peace, He is teaching me to trust Him and I have seen His blessings and his work through tithing and prayer. I find myself falling more in love with my caring Abba each day!
::Jehovah-Jireh (another name for God in Hebrew, meaning: "The Lord Will Provide)::
In trying to decide what to do in this situation I found myself constantly and vigorously praying for direction, guidance and answers. I have had those closes to me praying for me as well. During this time of praying, some things began to surface about what I would do to survive if I took this new path and if everything would really work out - job wise, money wise. I began to find myself worrying and trying to make everything workout. But due to the fact that I was praying about what to do and having that one-on-one time with God, He was able to remind me that: I need to trust Him with this! In my morning devotions it has talked about 'trust' a lot and praying and waiting and how we need to stop trying to work everything out by ourselves. He is taking care of us always. I'm not going to lie, I am scared to take this next step and even hesitant. It'll mean I have to step out of my safety net. Am I ready to do that? Yes, I believe I am because I know God will be with me every step of the way.
I am trying to make it a habit that when I'm feeling down or uncertain or hesitant or burdened, that I need to take it to God immediately, because He does not want us to deal with these things on our own. He is there to uplift us and carry us! It has become easier with practice and it has been such an amazing reminder of how I need to live my life, not only in times of when decisions need to be made, but in our normal living too!
In other areas of my life, God is teaching me a lot about what it means to wait on Him. It was very difficult to wait on His timing at first, but it has become easier. It is a whole lot less stressful when I wait on God's timing instead of trying to make things happen on my time. I still have a hard time waiting, but I know that it will be worth it in the end! I believe the reason for this 'waiting on His timing' has become easier is because He has given me peace, He is teaching me to trust Him and I have seen His blessings and his work through tithing and prayer. I find myself falling more in love with my caring Abba each day!
::Jehovah-Jireh (another name for God in Hebrew, meaning: "The Lord Will Provide)::
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