Lord,
I know in my heart that you are always with me, but some days I still feel lonely. You remind me that You are by my side, holding my hand and walking with me as the day goes on. A lot of times I feel Your presence, but some days I do not. Those days are tough. I believe the enemy takes advantage of those times and tries to place it in my head that I am forgotten, not cared about and that I am unimportant.
You are greater and You always conquer those thoughts through the words You speak to me when I read Your Word, through moments of worship, through people saying things that only You knew I needed to hear and by displaying Your beautiful creation in my eye's view.
Father, one way I have come to realise how you display Your physical touch and words of affirmation and love for me is through Cori Nicole. I believe you have placed her in my life for several reasons, but I strongly believe that You placed her in my life, because You use her for the time being to fill my longings for You with: hugs, words of encouragement, reminders of how gracious and loving and faithful You are and so much more! How ecstatic I am to one day hug You, hear Your verbal voice and see You face to face. Thank You for blessing me with my best friend. I cannot be more grateful for the love and friendship I have with her. I appreciate that we have a love for You that is beautiful and far more amazing than words can say.
I cannot thank You enough for all You have done for me. No matter how many times I mess up You are still standing there with arms opened wide, accepting me for who I am and what I've done and saying, "Kelland, I love you despite the mistakes you make. You are My child and there is nothing you can do that would make Me love you less." Knowing this makes life so beautiful!
Father, my heart's desire is to live a life for You. A life that shines You on others and a life that pleases You. I know I will stumble on this journey, but I also know You will guide me on this path. Speak to me and help me to be more like You in every area of my life. Give me confidence, strength and joy that will allow me to accomplish the tasks You have for me each day. Help me to live one day at a time and to seek You in everything that I do. I ask that my trust in You will be strengthen each day and that I can be patient in waiting on Your timing. Lord, You overwhelm my soul with all that You are and I cannot thank You enough.
I love You with all of my heart.
♫ I'm found in grace
In love's embrace
My heart is overwhelmed ♫
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
My Heart's Deepest Longing
It has been a long, emotional journey, but I've been getting through it with God holding me up during my weak moments. I have my days when I'm happy and content with where God has me in life, but I also have days when I long and desire for more. I have learned to find full contentment in Christ, but I still crave that presence of a significant other, to share words, experiences, laughs and so much more with. I long for companionship. God has been there for me through it all and has helped me on this path, this chapter in my life.
I do not know what God has planned for my future. I would like to think it includes a godly husband, children and a life in Africa (or overseas). None of those are promised to me or guaranteed. As hard as it is to admit and say that, it's truth. It allows me to lay aside those possible distractions and come back to the present and turn to Jesus and find contentment in Him and choose to have Him fill my wants and desires.
He is gracious, loving, beautiful, forgiving, peaceful, almighty, amazing, a provider and a comforter. He has been my strength through this past year and I am ever so thankful. I have seen who He is and I stand in awe. Each day my love for Him continually grows and my desire to know Him more intimate grows beyond anything I ever thought possible.
I struggle with my flesh each day and it is so frustrating. So many times God has allowed me to overcome my fleshly desires and the more often I choose to do so I strive to do so every time! It's a challenge and I fail multiple times, but as amazing of a feeling it is to act and respond Christ-like is a beautiful feeling! One longing I have right now is to act, respond and be more Christ-like in all that I do. It will definitely be a challenge, but one I am willing taking on.
As much as I want and long for a husband and a family, I need to focus on the things Christ has planned for me in my life right now. It's tough to not be distracted by the things around me and I want to see what Christ has for me. I don't want to miss what He has for me to do right now. As I come to focus more on what God is saying to me, I will live my life for Him and continue to trust in who He is and what He has.
♫ Set a fire down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control, I want more of You God, more of You God. There's no place I would rather be, than here in Your love ♫
I do not know what God has planned for my future. I would like to think it includes a godly husband, children and a life in Africa (or overseas). None of those are promised to me or guaranteed. As hard as it is to admit and say that, it's truth. It allows me to lay aside those possible distractions and come back to the present and turn to Jesus and find contentment in Him and choose to have Him fill my wants and desires.
He is gracious, loving, beautiful, forgiving, peaceful, almighty, amazing, a provider and a comforter. He has been my strength through this past year and I am ever so thankful. I have seen who He is and I stand in awe. Each day my love for Him continually grows and my desire to know Him more intimate grows beyond anything I ever thought possible.
I struggle with my flesh each day and it is so frustrating. So many times God has allowed me to overcome my fleshly desires and the more often I choose to do so I strive to do so every time! It's a challenge and I fail multiple times, but as amazing of a feeling it is to act and respond Christ-like is a beautiful feeling! One longing I have right now is to act, respond and be more Christ-like in all that I do. It will definitely be a challenge, but one I am willing taking on.
As much as I want and long for a husband and a family, I need to focus on the things Christ has planned for me in my life right now. It's tough to not be distracted by the things around me and I want to see what Christ has for me. I don't want to miss what He has for me to do right now. As I come to focus more on what God is saying to me, I will live my life for Him and continue to trust in who He is and what He has.
♫ Set a fire down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control, I want more of You God, more of You God. There's no place I would rather be, than here in Your love ♫
Saturday, July 13, 2013
A Wonderful Summer Experience
Back in March I had to figure out and make a decision on where I would be spending the first part of my summer - after the school semester and before I moved into my apartment in July. I prayed about it and did some research and asked people for ideas. I decided on being a camp councilor somewhere in the southern part of Missouri. I applied to a few places (although I had already missed all the deadlines) and prayed that if this was what God wanted me to do He would open a door for me. Sure enough He opened the door for me to go to Wonderland Camp - A camp for physically and mentally disable individuals. I had my phone interview with them, got the job one week later and two weeks after the semester ended found myself at Lake of the Ozarks in Rocky Mount, Missouri for the next few weeks. I was excited about getting this opportunity to work in this type of environment and knew it wouldn't be easy, but approached it with an open mind. I learned SO much while at camp. Not only different ways of working with special needs and helping them, but just viewing things a little differently and growing in different areas of my life.
One of the first and big things that God taught me was patience. From the beginning of the year I have asked God to help me with patience and sure enough He helped put it into practice at camp. I use to think I was a fairly patient person, but didn't realise how much growing I still had to do in this area of life. I have grown so much in my patience and I know that by continuing to put it into practice it will follow me and help me in my life with coworkers, friends, family, patients, etc.
Being flexible was a big thing that I had to learn. Just because the schedule says crafts was at 9:30 didn't mean you were always going to get done with breakfast by then to make it to the activity on time.
I also learned to be less judgmental and not to think certain things about people who look to fit a specific stereotype. Just because someone has an emo look or is in a fraternity/sorority at college or is a homosexual or is just different doesn't mean that they don't have a calling to serve others. Everyone I worked with at this camp had their own life stories and came from a different background, but we were all there for one reason: To Serve Others. It was amazing to see the different kinds of workers interact with the special needs and love on them and be the camper's best friend for the week. I have made new friendships with my fellow coworkers as well as campers and it has been awesome.
The campers especially touched my life in so many ways. Each week we experienced a lot of hard times and we struggled, but we got through it. During each week I would look at my campers and think, "Lord, as frustrated as I get with these individuals You still love them for the way they are - the way You created them. You don't love them and see them differently than the way You love and see me." Now, how awesome is it to know that God's love is equal amongst His children? It makes me want to be even more loving and accepting of others.
With having to deal a lot with mentally and physically disable people, I would become tired in both of those areas. I found that I was able to maintain my strength and sanity in taking time throughout the day to talk to God and let Him know how I was feeling and that I couldn't do this alone and He always helped me through each day. I found that although I was constantly surround by people I still struggled with loneliness. My loneliness was cured by taking time to talk to God and pray and read my 'Jesus Calling' devotional.
In the end of my whole experience this past summer, I have absolutely loved and enjoyed all that I did and I learned so many things that will benefit me later in life as I enter the medical field. I have discovered that special needs is not my expertise. I do not mind working in this of environment, but I would not be able to make a career of it. I definitely developed respect towards the camper's caregivers. I never put thought into how challenging it must be to take care of someone who constantly needs supervision and assistance with daily tasks that we take for granted. I greatly appreciate their calling into what they do.
At the end of my time at camp I questioned as to how God will use this experience later in my life. I know being in the medical field it will benefit me a lot, but it also got me thinking on whether I will someday have a special needs child or my husband will become disable or a dear friend of mine or sibling has a child with a disability - the possibilities are endless. The fact is: I don't know how or where God will use this experience in my life. All I know is that I am ready to face the future with whatever God brings into my life.
One of the first and big things that God taught me was patience. From the beginning of the year I have asked God to help me with patience and sure enough He helped put it into practice at camp. I use to think I was a fairly patient person, but didn't realise how much growing I still had to do in this area of life. I have grown so much in my patience and I know that by continuing to put it into practice it will follow me and help me in my life with coworkers, friends, family, patients, etc.
Being flexible was a big thing that I had to learn. Just because the schedule says crafts was at 9:30 didn't mean you were always going to get done with breakfast by then to make it to the activity on time.
I also learned to be less judgmental and not to think certain things about people who look to fit a specific stereotype. Just because someone has an emo look or is in a fraternity/sorority at college or is a homosexual or is just different doesn't mean that they don't have a calling to serve others. Everyone I worked with at this camp had their own life stories and came from a different background, but we were all there for one reason: To Serve Others. It was amazing to see the different kinds of workers interact with the special needs and love on them and be the camper's best friend for the week. I have made new friendships with my fellow coworkers as well as campers and it has been awesome.
The campers especially touched my life in so many ways. Each week we experienced a lot of hard times and we struggled, but we got through it. During each week I would look at my campers and think, "Lord, as frustrated as I get with these individuals You still love them for the way they are - the way You created them. You don't love them and see them differently than the way You love and see me." Now, how awesome is it to know that God's love is equal amongst His children? It makes me want to be even more loving and accepting of others.
With having to deal a lot with mentally and physically disable people, I would become tired in both of those areas. I found that I was able to maintain my strength and sanity in taking time throughout the day to talk to God and let Him know how I was feeling and that I couldn't do this alone and He always helped me through each day. I found that although I was constantly surround by people I still struggled with loneliness. My loneliness was cured by taking time to talk to God and pray and read my 'Jesus Calling' devotional.
In the end of my whole experience this past summer, I have absolutely loved and enjoyed all that I did and I learned so many things that will benefit me later in life as I enter the medical field. I have discovered that special needs is not my expertise. I do not mind working in this of environment, but I would not be able to make a career of it. I definitely developed respect towards the camper's caregivers. I never put thought into how challenging it must be to take care of someone who constantly needs supervision and assistance with daily tasks that we take for granted. I greatly appreciate their calling into what they do.
At the end of my time at camp I questioned as to how God will use this experience later in my life. I know being in the medical field it will benefit me a lot, but it also got me thinking on whether I will someday have a special needs child or my husband will become disable or a dear friend of mine or sibling has a child with a disability - the possibilities are endless. The fact is: I don't know how or where God will use this experience in my life. All I know is that I am ready to face the future with whatever God brings into my life.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Overwhelmed with His Blessings
Lord,
You are good. You are love. You are faithful. You are reliable. You are my happiness.You are my heart's desire. You, Oh Lord, are my everything.
I praise You and thank You for all the blessings You have bestowed on me, but I thank You mostly for the people You have placed in my life.
The past few years You have helped me to put down my pridefulness and be able to ask others for help when I need it. It's such a hard thing to do as human beings, because we see it as a sign of weakness. In fact it is just the opposite. If we are able to reach out and ask our brothers and sisters in Christ for help, that shows signs of strength. We are able to lay aside our pride and depend on our Christian family to help carry our burdens, which You said we should not carry alone.
Lord, in the past few days, and even weeks, You have reminded me of those who are reaching out to me and longing to help me and take care of me now. Their small blessings and encouraging and kind words towards me go a long way and I am thankful. These people will never know how much they've touched my heart and my life. I ask that You would bless them in return.
God, in the past few months You have been faithful and loving to me. I don't know why I continue to be surprised by You, but You amaze me everyday. You show me something new and something worthwhile and speak to me each day. It has kept life refreshing and full of happiness and positiveness. I've experienced my lowest of lows in life and during that time I was living life my way, not Yours. Without letting You have control of my life was the hardest thing I've experienced and I've just realised that. When You are in control, life may not always go the way I expect it, but You will not leave me or keep me in the dark. I desire to always rely and trust you wholeheartedly.
Father, You know the desires of my heart and what I most long for. As patient as I have been in certain areas of my life, I pray that I will be patient in these other areas of my life. Help me to be so lost in Your love that it would allow me and help me to wait. I've experienced and know that Your timing is always the best timing for my life and what You have planned for it. These longings are tearing at my heart and I ask that You would allow me to wait, patiently.
Lord, I love you with all of my heart.
You are good. You are love. You are faithful. You are reliable. You are my happiness.You are my heart's desire. You, Oh Lord, are my everything.
I praise You and thank You for all the blessings You have bestowed on me, but I thank You mostly for the people You have placed in my life.
The past few years You have helped me to put down my pridefulness and be able to ask others for help when I need it. It's such a hard thing to do as human beings, because we see it as a sign of weakness. In fact it is just the opposite. If we are able to reach out and ask our brothers and sisters in Christ for help, that shows signs of strength. We are able to lay aside our pride and depend on our Christian family to help carry our burdens, which You said we should not carry alone.
Lord, in the past few days, and even weeks, You have reminded me of those who are reaching out to me and longing to help me and take care of me now. Their small blessings and encouraging and kind words towards me go a long way and I am thankful. These people will never know how much they've touched my heart and my life. I ask that You would bless them in return.
God, in the past few months You have been faithful and loving to me. I don't know why I continue to be surprised by You, but You amaze me everyday. You show me something new and something worthwhile and speak to me each day. It has kept life refreshing and full of happiness and positiveness. I've experienced my lowest of lows in life and during that time I was living life my way, not Yours. Without letting You have control of my life was the hardest thing I've experienced and I've just realised that. When You are in control, life may not always go the way I expect it, but You will not leave me or keep me in the dark. I desire to always rely and trust you wholeheartedly.
Father, You know the desires of my heart and what I most long for. As patient as I have been in certain areas of my life, I pray that I will be patient in these other areas of my life. Help me to be so lost in Your love that it would allow me and help me to wait. I've experienced and know that Your timing is always the best timing for my life and what You have planned for it. These longings are tearing at my heart and I ask that You would allow me to wait, patiently.
Lord, I love you with all of my heart.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Walk By Faith, Not By Sight
In reference to one of my previous post on 'Praying and Trusting', I have a followup.
My decision that I was praying about was leaving College of the Ozarks. After praying about it for 3 1/2 weeks, God finally made His answer to my prayers ever so clearly. His answer was, "Yes." It was scary to hear this. This would mean the plans I had for my future for the next three years would change entirely. I would not be graduating from CofO with a degree in Nursing. So, what would I do? Where would I go? Well, with even more praying, surprise surprise, God answered me.
It began in February. I job shadowed a License Practical Nurse (LPN) at Skaggs Hospital in Branson. I had never known what an LPN was and didn't think twice about asking or doing research on it. About a month later I received an Ozark Technical Community College (OTC) announcement in the mail, talking about their new campus opening down the road in the fall. I looked at the piece of paper and saw that they offered an LPN programme. I held on to the paper for some strange reason.
One week later during spring break, I was working in the dorm office and a thought came to me - "What is an LPN?" I don't know where the random thought came from, but I began to do some research. After hours of reading up on LPNs, this joy overcame me and I never thought I would even consider becoming an LPN. It would be a step below a Registered Nurse (RN), which is what I'm heading towards right now, and I was okay with that. I felt an LPN suited me better. I talked about the possibility of heading in this new direction with my parents, my Pop and Cori. I prayed about this decision for almost two months. I needed a lot of answers from God if He was leading me down this road to become an LPN.
Where would I live during the summer and beyond that? How would I do financially with not currently having an off campus job? How will I get around with not currently having a vehicle?
I didn't know the answers, but I was trusting God and waiting for his response.
I soon remembered that two of my friends were moving down to Branson to attend the new OTC campus. An answer to one of my questions. My two friends and I talked about it and figured out that it would work out for us three girls to get an apartment in the area and split the costs. Well, a little time went by and we started some apartment hunting and found a good deal on one of them that we thought would be the best. God was taking care of us. {A place to live during the middle of the summer through the next year was figured out. Check.}
I began to pray about what to do during the first part of the summer - due to us not moving in until July. The semester ends the beginning of May and from then until July, where would I live? Where would I work to receive an income now and later down the road? As soon as I finish the semester I'll be visiting my sister for a week or so, but after that I am pretty much homeless. I began to worry about the whole situation. I knew that I shouldn't be worried, but I was. I began to talk to family friends and others to brainstorm and get some ideas for what to do. There was the possibility of staying with my aunt and working for her. There was the possibility of living with my friend's family and working for her dad. There was a possibility of being a camp counselor at a special needs camp that I had applied to. I wasn't sure what God had in mind, but I knew what I had in mind.
I felt I was trusting God completely in this situation, but in all honesty I was not trusting Him. It wasn't until after I withdrew from CofO (I'm staying to finish out the semester) that I realised I had been telling myself, "Okay God, You show me where You want me, but if You don't, I have MY backup plan." It dawned on me that that was what I was doing - not wholeheartedly trusting the Lord with providing me a place to live. As soon as I realised it, I broke down and asked God to forgive me for not trusting Him. The verse that immediately came to me was 2 Corinthians 5:7, which says: "Walk by faith, not by sight." I was stepping out into open waters now with no backup plans and no answers from God, yet. It was and still is scary.
I had withdrawn from the school this past Wednesday afternoon and as soon as I filled out the form to do so, I jokingly said to God, "Okay, where do I live?" expecting an answer right away. Thursday morning I was about to head to class when I got a phone call. About two weeks ago I sent in a really late application to Wonderland Camp to be a camp counselor. My expectations for hearing back from the camp was the next week. When they didn't get a hold of me, I figured I didn't have a chance. That would mean that possibility could be marked off the list. God had other plans. When I got the phone call, the man on the other end of the phone set up a phone interview with me for Monday for a position as a camp counselor! I feel really good about this and until I have my interview I'm trusting that God will work it out if He wants me there. If not, I'll continue to trust Him.{A place to live and work for the beginning of the summer. Check?}
My vehicle and transportation issue is also still being figured out. Until I can save money to buy a car of my own, I will have to continue to ask others for help. I have several friends who have allowed me to borrow their cars and I have my bicycle to get around town and I might possibly have a moped to get around town as well. We shall see though. {Transportation met. Check?}
The Lord is so amazing. He has been teaching me SO much this year that it's joyfully overwhelming! Most recently He has taught me to trust Him and wait on His timing. As difficult as it can be, it is so much easier knowing that you are not entirely responsible for certain decision making. Yes, we need to do our parts in life e.g. if we're jobless, go look for a job, and God will provide. Speaking of which, I still do not have a job in Branson for the last part of the summer and beyond, but I've been applying to different places and am hoping and trusting and waiting on God to hear back from one of the places. I know that God will take care of me financially, because He ALWAYS does.
I very much look forward to see what will happen in the next few weeks. My life will be completely different. I'll be going from: working, sleeping and getting an education in one place, to working, sleeping and getting an education in three different places. I know that with these changes come different things. I may lose the stresses that I have now, but will gain different stresses with this transition. I will have to begin to make payments and fend for myself and not have my security blankets anymore. But, I will still have my amazing friends close by and support from my family. And as always, God will be constant in my life.
My decision that I was praying about was leaving College of the Ozarks. After praying about it for 3 1/2 weeks, God finally made His answer to my prayers ever so clearly. His answer was, "Yes." It was scary to hear this. This would mean the plans I had for my future for the next three years would change entirely. I would not be graduating from CofO with a degree in Nursing. So, what would I do? Where would I go? Well, with even more praying, surprise surprise, God answered me.
It began in February. I job shadowed a License Practical Nurse (LPN) at Skaggs Hospital in Branson. I had never known what an LPN was and didn't think twice about asking or doing research on it. About a month later I received an Ozark Technical Community College (OTC) announcement in the mail, talking about their new campus opening down the road in the fall. I looked at the piece of paper and saw that they offered an LPN programme. I held on to the paper for some strange reason.
One week later during spring break, I was working in the dorm office and a thought came to me - "What is an LPN?" I don't know where the random thought came from, but I began to do some research. After hours of reading up on LPNs, this joy overcame me and I never thought I would even consider becoming an LPN. It would be a step below a Registered Nurse (RN), which is what I'm heading towards right now, and I was okay with that. I felt an LPN suited me better. I talked about the possibility of heading in this new direction with my parents, my Pop and Cori. I prayed about this decision for almost two months. I needed a lot of answers from God if He was leading me down this road to become an LPN.
Where would I live during the summer and beyond that? How would I do financially with not currently having an off campus job? How will I get around with not currently having a vehicle?
I didn't know the answers, but I was trusting God and waiting for his response.
I soon remembered that two of my friends were moving down to Branson to attend the new OTC campus. An answer to one of my questions. My two friends and I talked about it and figured out that it would work out for us three girls to get an apartment in the area and split the costs. Well, a little time went by and we started some apartment hunting and found a good deal on one of them that we thought would be the best. God was taking care of us. {A place to live during the middle of the summer through the next year was figured out. Check.}
I began to pray about what to do during the first part of the summer - due to us not moving in until July. The semester ends the beginning of May and from then until July, where would I live? Where would I work to receive an income now and later down the road? As soon as I finish the semester I'll be visiting my sister for a week or so, but after that I am pretty much homeless. I began to worry about the whole situation. I knew that I shouldn't be worried, but I was. I began to talk to family friends and others to brainstorm and get some ideas for what to do. There was the possibility of staying with my aunt and working for her. There was the possibility of living with my friend's family and working for her dad. There was a possibility of being a camp counselor at a special needs camp that I had applied to. I wasn't sure what God had in mind, but I knew what I had in mind.
I felt I was trusting God completely in this situation, but in all honesty I was not trusting Him. It wasn't until after I withdrew from CofO (I'm staying to finish out the semester) that I realised I had been telling myself, "Okay God, You show me where You want me, but if You don't, I have MY backup plan." It dawned on me that that was what I was doing - not wholeheartedly trusting the Lord with providing me a place to live. As soon as I realised it, I broke down and asked God to forgive me for not trusting Him. The verse that immediately came to me was 2 Corinthians 5:7, which says: "Walk by faith, not by sight." I was stepping out into open waters now with no backup plans and no answers from God, yet. It was and still is scary.
I had withdrawn from the school this past Wednesday afternoon and as soon as I filled out the form to do so, I jokingly said to God, "Okay, where do I live?" expecting an answer right away. Thursday morning I was about to head to class when I got a phone call. About two weeks ago I sent in a really late application to Wonderland Camp to be a camp counselor. My expectations for hearing back from the camp was the next week. When they didn't get a hold of me, I figured I didn't have a chance. That would mean that possibility could be marked off the list. God had other plans. When I got the phone call, the man on the other end of the phone set up a phone interview with me for Monday for a position as a camp counselor! I feel really good about this and until I have my interview I'm trusting that God will work it out if He wants me there. If not, I'll continue to trust Him.{A place to live and work for the beginning of the summer. Check?}
My vehicle and transportation issue is also still being figured out. Until I can save money to buy a car of my own, I will have to continue to ask others for help. I have several friends who have allowed me to borrow their cars and I have my bicycle to get around town and I might possibly have a moped to get around town as well. We shall see though. {Transportation met. Check?}
The Lord is so amazing. He has been teaching me SO much this year that it's joyfully overwhelming! Most recently He has taught me to trust Him and wait on His timing. As difficult as it can be, it is so much easier knowing that you are not entirely responsible for certain decision making. Yes, we need to do our parts in life e.g. if we're jobless, go look for a job, and God will provide. Speaking of which, I still do not have a job in Branson for the last part of the summer and beyond, but I've been applying to different places and am hoping and trusting and waiting on God to hear back from one of the places. I know that God will take care of me financially, because He ALWAYS does.
I very much look forward to see what will happen in the next few weeks. My life will be completely different. I'll be going from: working, sleeping and getting an education in one place, to working, sleeping and getting an education in three different places. I know that with these changes come different things. I may lose the stresses that I have now, but will gain different stresses with this transition. I will have to begin to make payments and fend for myself and not have my security blankets anymore. But, I will still have my amazing friends close by and support from my family. And as always, God will be constant in my life.
Things to Remember
This past weekend, my best friend, Cori, and I took a road trip to St Louis to visit my grandparents. It was filled with adventure, wrong turns, shopping, the zoo, seeing old family friends, quality time and a lot of time for enjoyable conversation. I hadn't realised until the end of the trip that God was showing me things and teaching me things the whole weekend.
First of all, I am so thankful and blessed to have an amazing best friend who I can confide in, trust, enjoy conversation or silence with, communicate well with, and so much more. I realised how important it is to have friends to be able to do these things with. God puts people into our lives for a reason. He gives us friends to fellowship with and to encourage one another. This trip was a way God blessed me in allowing quality time (which is one of my receiving love languages) with someone who means so much to me!
Sunday, Cori and I visited my old church, Have Bible Will Travel. I hadn't been there in over two years, so it was so good to be back and see familiar faces and be in a familiar environment. Now, Have Bible is not your typical church - it's a biker church. The rough and tough people with tattoos; the ones who have drug and prostitution and drinking backgrounds - yeah, it's different, but it's what I grew up with when my dad started it several years ago. During our time there I had so many flashbacks and it reminded me how much I truly missed being around those types of people. It made me more appreciative of having had the opportunity to grow up with accepting people as they are, no matter what their background.
This was Cori's first time experiencing this type of environment and at the end of our visit there she shared with me that she loved it. She loved being around those who come as they are and how real they are giving their praise and worship to God and shouting 'amen' to everything they agreed with from what the pastor shared. The people were friendly, welcoming and non-judgmental. As Christians we are called to be Christ-like, which means not judging others, but sadly we are some of the ones who are the most judgmental towards others. It doesn't matter what your appearance is at church. You don't have to look like life is together for you. You don't have to look your best. We are called to 'come as we are' to worship our Father and give him praise. These are some of the things you find at Have Bible.
This trip showed me that I need to begin to really watch myself when it comes to judging others. It showed me that strengthening a friendship is so important. I was able to listen to Cori's thoughts and her point of view on the weekend and what God was teaching her. It was a wonderful get-a-way from campus and much needed. I pray that God allows more times like those in the future.
First of all, I am so thankful and blessed to have an amazing best friend who I can confide in, trust, enjoy conversation or silence with, communicate well with, and so much more. I realised how important it is to have friends to be able to do these things with. God puts people into our lives for a reason. He gives us friends to fellowship with and to encourage one another. This trip was a way God blessed me in allowing quality time (which is one of my receiving love languages) with someone who means so much to me!
Sunday, Cori and I visited my old church, Have Bible Will Travel. I hadn't been there in over two years, so it was so good to be back and see familiar faces and be in a familiar environment. Now, Have Bible is not your typical church - it's a biker church. The rough and tough people with tattoos; the ones who have drug and prostitution and drinking backgrounds - yeah, it's different, but it's what I grew up with when my dad started it several years ago. During our time there I had so many flashbacks and it reminded me how much I truly missed being around those types of people. It made me more appreciative of having had the opportunity to grow up with accepting people as they are, no matter what their background.
This was Cori's first time experiencing this type of environment and at the end of our visit there she shared with me that she loved it. She loved being around those who come as they are and how real they are giving their praise and worship to God and shouting 'amen' to everything they agreed with from what the pastor shared. The people were friendly, welcoming and non-judgmental. As Christians we are called to be Christ-like, which means not judging others, but sadly we are some of the ones who are the most judgmental towards others. It doesn't matter what your appearance is at church. You don't have to look like life is together for you. You don't have to look your best. We are called to 'come as we are' to worship our Father and give him praise. These are some of the things you find at Have Bible.
This trip showed me that I need to begin to really watch myself when it comes to judging others. It showed me that strengthening a friendship is so important. I was able to listen to Cori's thoughts and her point of view on the weekend and what God was teaching her. It was a wonderful get-a-way from campus and much needed. I pray that God allows more times like those in the future.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Praying & Trusting
Recently I've been having to make decisions in my life that will affect my future plans. It occurred a little over three weeks ago when I felt God was showing me a new path to take in my life. I did some research and looked more into this new possible route I would take. The more I looked into it the more excited I became! I had to stop and meditate on the choices I would be making. I had to be sure that I would not be making these choices selfishly and that if I did decide on this path over the other it would be because it was from God and I was not trying to find the easy way out.
In trying to decide what to do in this situation I found myself constantly and vigorously praying for direction, guidance and answers. I have had those closes to me praying for me as well. During this time of praying, some things began to surface about what I would do to survive if I took this new path and if everything would really work out - job wise, money wise. I began to find myself worrying and trying to make everything workout. But due to the fact that I was praying about what to do and having that one-on-one time with God, He was able to remind me that: I need to trust Him with this! In my morning devotions it has talked about 'trust' a lot and praying and waiting and how we need to stop trying to work everything out by ourselves. He is taking care of us always. I'm not going to lie, I am scared to take this next step and even hesitant. It'll mean I have to step out of my safety net. Am I ready to do that? Yes, I believe I am because I know God will be with me every step of the way.
I am trying to make it a habit that when I'm feeling down or uncertain or hesitant or burdened, that I need to take it to God immediately, because He does not want us to deal with these things on our own. He is there to uplift us and carry us! It has become easier with practice and it has been such an amazing reminder of how I need to live my life, not only in times of when decisions need to be made, but in our normal living too!
In other areas of my life, God is teaching me a lot about what it means to wait on Him. It was very difficult to wait on His timing at first, but it has become easier. It is a whole lot less stressful when I wait on God's timing instead of trying to make things happen on my time. I still have a hard time waiting, but I know that it will be worth it in the end! I believe the reason for this 'waiting on His timing' has become easier is because He has given me peace, He is teaching me to trust Him and I have seen His blessings and his work through tithing and prayer. I find myself falling more in love with my caring Abba each day!
::Jehovah-Jireh (another name for God in Hebrew, meaning: "The Lord Will Provide)::
In trying to decide what to do in this situation I found myself constantly and vigorously praying for direction, guidance and answers. I have had those closes to me praying for me as well. During this time of praying, some things began to surface about what I would do to survive if I took this new path and if everything would really work out - job wise, money wise. I began to find myself worrying and trying to make everything workout. But due to the fact that I was praying about what to do and having that one-on-one time with God, He was able to remind me that: I need to trust Him with this! In my morning devotions it has talked about 'trust' a lot and praying and waiting and how we need to stop trying to work everything out by ourselves. He is taking care of us always. I'm not going to lie, I am scared to take this next step and even hesitant. It'll mean I have to step out of my safety net. Am I ready to do that? Yes, I believe I am because I know God will be with me every step of the way.
I am trying to make it a habit that when I'm feeling down or uncertain or hesitant or burdened, that I need to take it to God immediately, because He does not want us to deal with these things on our own. He is there to uplift us and carry us! It has become easier with practice and it has been such an amazing reminder of how I need to live my life, not only in times of when decisions need to be made, but in our normal living too!
In other areas of my life, God is teaching me a lot about what it means to wait on Him. It was very difficult to wait on His timing at first, but it has become easier. It is a whole lot less stressful when I wait on God's timing instead of trying to make things happen on my time. I still have a hard time waiting, but I know that it will be worth it in the end! I believe the reason for this 'waiting on His timing' has become easier is because He has given me peace, He is teaching me to trust Him and I have seen His blessings and his work through tithing and prayer. I find myself falling more in love with my caring Abba each day!
::Jehovah-Jireh (another name for God in Hebrew, meaning: "The Lord Will Provide)::
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Kelland's Coffee Cinnamon Bread
I was roaming on Pinterest last night and found this easy amazing recipe for Cinnamon Bread! I had all the ingredients and was in a baking mood. I gathered together all the ingredients and as I was doing so I found some instant coffee in my stash of groceries! I though I would change things up just a bit with the recipe I had!
Saturday morning came along and I woke up, grabbed my bag of gathered ingredients and headed to the kitchen to get started on my breakfast! When it was done I took it to my dorm room and its aroma filled the tiny space and it reminded me of Christmas! It made me so happy!!
After baking the bread, I ate some of it and then sliced up the rest and wrapped individual slices in foil to give to people. I took two to the post office when I went there this morning and the two post office ladies were surprised and excited about getting fresh bread! It was really cute to see their reaction. I love being able to make someones day by doing something so little!
Saturday morning came along and I woke up, grabbed my bag of gathered ingredients and headed to the kitchen to get started on my breakfast! When it was done I took it to my dorm room and its aroma filled the tiny space and it reminded me of Christmas! It made me so happy!!
KELLAND'S COFFEE CINNAMON BREAD
- 1/3C sugar
- 2tsp Cinnamon
- 2C Flour
- 1T baking powder (I used baking soda)
- 1/2tsp salt
- 1C Sugar
- 1 Egg
- 1C Milk
- 1/3C Oil
- 2T instant coffee (opt)
- 1T Vanilla (opt)
After baking the bread, I ate some of it and then sliced up the rest and wrapped individual slices in foil to give to people. I took two to the post office when I went there this morning and the two post office ladies were surprised and excited about getting fresh bread! It was really cute to see their reaction. I love being able to make someones day by doing something so little!
Friday, March 8, 2013
New Things To Come
This morning I awoke, drowsy and worn out from midterms week filled with studying, test and all-nighters. I started out my day by reading from 'Jesus Calling'. It talked about how we should seek the Lord above all else and how we should let the Light of His Presence shine on our pursuit in life and that if the good fits into His plans for us, He will help us reach it!
The morning continued and I had this happiness within me. I was sitting in my room before I had to go to work with the window open and I noticed the birds chirping. I sat there and took a couple of minutes to just listen. It was refreshing to hear the birds after a cold winter. As I sat there I felt God saying to me, "Warmer weather is coming. New things are coming." It made me smile and I was filled with joy and gratefulness. The rest of my day was great and I was so thankful for it!
God is so awesome. I love how those little things can remind us that God is thinking of us. My love for Him continues to grow and it brings an overwhelming happiness in me that I just cannot explain. I look back to last year and cannot believe how far I have come in my walk with Him. I am so excited to see where He will take me and what He has planned for me! I look forward to these 'new things' He has promised me.
Last week I was talking to a friend who attends another college and she shared with me that she fasts two times a week. I thought that was so great! The next morning I woke up and before I got out of bed I felt God saying to me, "Kelland, I want you to fast today." So I said, "Okay Lord!" That day was one of the days my friend fasted, so into the late morning I text her and asked if she would fast the whole day with me. She, without hesitation, agreed to do so. We shared some specific personal prayer request that we could pray for through the day. As the day went on I felt this amazing connections with the Lord. Talking to Him throughout the whole day was so refreshing and encouraging. Taking time to listen was reassuring and not having the distractions of food was nice. Unloading my burdens as well as other's that I had been carrying with me was so great. Knowing He is in control of everything and everybody definitely helps me relax and be grateful.
I think it is so important for us to take time away from the distractions in our lives and revert it back to God. He wants us to have communication with Him. He wants us to take time for Him, not because we feel we need to, but because we want to. We need to look at our relationship with Him and treat it like how we would treat an earthly relationship with a friend, only this one is one hundred times better and God should get the all the praise! He loves when we talk to Him and share our concerns, dreams, desires, fears and everything for that matter with Him! Taking time to fast is a great way to build that relationship and communication with Him! He will show you and tell you so much during that time!
The morning continued and I had this happiness within me. I was sitting in my room before I had to go to work with the window open and I noticed the birds chirping. I sat there and took a couple of minutes to just listen. It was refreshing to hear the birds after a cold winter. As I sat there I felt God saying to me, "Warmer weather is coming. New things are coming." It made me smile and I was filled with joy and gratefulness. The rest of my day was great and I was so thankful for it!
God is so awesome. I love how those little things can remind us that God is thinking of us. My love for Him continues to grow and it brings an overwhelming happiness in me that I just cannot explain. I look back to last year and cannot believe how far I have come in my walk with Him. I am so excited to see where He will take me and what He has planned for me! I look forward to these 'new things' He has promised me.
Last week I was talking to a friend who attends another college and she shared with me that she fasts two times a week. I thought that was so great! The next morning I woke up and before I got out of bed I felt God saying to me, "Kelland, I want you to fast today." So I said, "Okay Lord!" That day was one of the days my friend fasted, so into the late morning I text her and asked if she would fast the whole day with me. She, without hesitation, agreed to do so. We shared some specific personal prayer request that we could pray for through the day. As the day went on I felt this amazing connections with the Lord. Talking to Him throughout the whole day was so refreshing and encouraging. Taking time to listen was reassuring and not having the distractions of food was nice. Unloading my burdens as well as other's that I had been carrying with me was so great. Knowing He is in control of everything and everybody definitely helps me relax and be grateful.
I think it is so important for us to take time away from the distractions in our lives and revert it back to God. He wants us to have communication with Him. He wants us to take time for Him, not because we feel we need to, but because we want to. We need to look at our relationship with Him and treat it like how we would treat an earthly relationship with a friend, only this one is one hundred times better and God should get the all the praise! He loves when we talk to Him and share our concerns, dreams, desires, fears and everything for that matter with Him! Taking time to fast is a great way to build that relationship and communication with Him! He will show you and tell you so much during that time!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Bitterness Eating At My Soul
Bitterness: resentment; a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will.
Doesn't just reading that word and definition make you feel horrible and cringe? I know that's what it makes me do. For several several months now I have had this bitterness tucked away inside of me that I have recently discovered. This bitterness was towards a person . Also what I learned is that because I had bitterness towards this person, I had anger towards God.
I was at a bible study this past week and our leader began to talk about how God will bring people into our lives and how He allows us to be vulnerable with them. It can be a difficult thing to be vulnerable with someone, because you are allowing them to see the complete you: your heart, emotions, reactions, dreams, desires, character, the list goes on. We as humans are scared to share those, because we don't want to be hurt. But God desires for us to not be alone and that is why He blesses us with relationships: family, friends, significant others. Sometimes it takes time to build that trust with someone and that's okay. Sometimes we don't have the same trust between certain friends and certain family members and that's okay too. It is so very important to be vulnerable with people though, because God teaches things to us by doing so.
Last semester was horrible. I was not on the right path with God, even though I talked like I was and on the surface I might have looked like I was. But the truth? I had strayed. I am only recently seeing that part of the reason for my straying was my hidden bitterness and anger. What has been brought to my attention is that I was angry at God for allowing me to be vulnerable with this person that I trusted and shared my dreams with. The anger and bitterness began to build as soon as that person failed me. My heart was broken and a piece of me was gone. I couldn't understand how God would let that happen. I'm sad to say that at the mention of this person's name I would cringe and feel disgust. I didn't know why, but it was how I felt. I didn't care to talk about them or talk to them. Resulting from this, I made some pretty stupid decisions. The way I acted was hateful and inconsiderate and selfish. I was angry.
God is amazing though. He can transform someone within minutes. He transformed me within minutes. As soon as my bible study leader talked about her experiences and views, the bitterness and anger surfaced and at that second I could feel myself changing. I could feel myself letting go of those two things. I had never once thought that God would allow us to be vulnerable with people that may not stay in our lives and that we will go through heart break because He has something to teach us and that might be the only way we will learn it. I was aware that by meeting this person I had learned quite a bit from them and that after they left and I made those stupid choices I learned from those. After the bitterness and anger left me I could see some of my learning experiences so much clearer and in a positive way, not a negative way anymore. By going through what I went through, it's what has got me to where I am at today and I couldn't be more thankful!
Doesn't just reading that word and definition make you feel horrible and cringe? I know that's what it makes me do. For several several months now I have had this bitterness tucked away inside of me that I have recently discovered. This bitterness was towards a person . Also what I learned is that because I had bitterness towards this person, I had anger towards God.
I was at a bible study this past week and our leader began to talk about how God will bring people into our lives and how He allows us to be vulnerable with them. It can be a difficult thing to be vulnerable with someone, because you are allowing them to see the complete you: your heart, emotions, reactions, dreams, desires, character, the list goes on. We as humans are scared to share those, because we don't want to be hurt. But God desires for us to not be alone and that is why He blesses us with relationships: family, friends, significant others. Sometimes it takes time to build that trust with someone and that's okay. Sometimes we don't have the same trust between certain friends and certain family members and that's okay too. It is so very important to be vulnerable with people though, because God teaches things to us by doing so.
Last semester was horrible. I was not on the right path with God, even though I talked like I was and on the surface I might have looked like I was. But the truth? I had strayed. I am only recently seeing that part of the reason for my straying was my hidden bitterness and anger. What has been brought to my attention is that I was angry at God for allowing me to be vulnerable with this person that I trusted and shared my dreams with. The anger and bitterness began to build as soon as that person failed me. My heart was broken and a piece of me was gone. I couldn't understand how God would let that happen. I'm sad to say that at the mention of this person's name I would cringe and feel disgust. I didn't know why, but it was how I felt. I didn't care to talk about them or talk to them. Resulting from this, I made some pretty stupid decisions. The way I acted was hateful and inconsiderate and selfish. I was angry.
God is amazing though. He can transform someone within minutes. He transformed me within minutes. As soon as my bible study leader talked about her experiences and views, the bitterness and anger surfaced and at that second I could feel myself changing. I could feel myself letting go of those two things. I had never once thought that God would allow us to be vulnerable with people that may not stay in our lives and that we will go through heart break because He has something to teach us and that might be the only way we will learn it. I was aware that by meeting this person I had learned quite a bit from them and that after they left and I made those stupid choices I learned from those. After the bitterness and anger left me I could see some of my learning experiences so much clearer and in a positive way, not a negative way anymore. By going through what I went through, it's what has got me to where I am at today and I couldn't be more thankful!
A Pathway To Prayer
It's been very interesting the past couple of months. Either more prayer is suddenly needed or my eyes have been opened. I hadn't realised how much struggle and hurt people are going through and how they need someone to stand by them and I have become more aware of how much each individual person has the need for someone to support them with prayer. There have been numerous times in the last month that I have had different people ask for prayer in certain situations of their lives. I have more than willingly taken the time to lift their request to our Father. It has amazed me and given me a thrill to pray for those people.
I have been reminded of how much I do enjoy praying. It's been awhile since I've sincerely taken the time, for myself as well as for others, to talk to God and thank Him for much and ask for guidance, patience, etc. I do know that I have been taking it one step at a time and practicing on taking time to pray again. I try to constantly revert my thoughts to prayer whenever a name pops into my head; when I begin to worry about an issue or worry about my future; when an inconvenient issue occurs. It is tough to revert my thoughts away from me, me, me, because we live in a world where people are selfish and we don't want to ask for help and we like to complain. It is something that has become easier when practiced.
Something great about prayer is that it will always be answered. Now, it may not be the answer we hope for, but God will never give us a cliff hanger to our request to Him. I have witnessed some answers to some prayer request from the past month. It has been really encouraging and just uplifting to know that God answers us. From here on out my goal is to strive to be a prayer warrior! I know it will take some training and time, but taking things one step at a time will eventually get me where I desire to be. I plan on taking the time to fast more so that I can cleanse my mind, soul and body and not have my focus on things that will distract me from prayer. At some point I would love to go out to a secluded area and just spend that one-on-one time with God! I know I will slip up along the way, but God will lead me and will bless me with friends to help and keep me accountable.
I have been reminded of how much I do enjoy praying. It's been awhile since I've sincerely taken the time, for myself as well as for others, to talk to God and thank Him for much and ask for guidance, patience, etc. I do know that I have been taking it one step at a time and practicing on taking time to pray again. I try to constantly revert my thoughts to prayer whenever a name pops into my head; when I begin to worry about an issue or worry about my future; when an inconvenient issue occurs. It is tough to revert my thoughts away from me, me, me, because we live in a world where people are selfish and we don't want to ask for help and we like to complain. It is something that has become easier when practiced.
Something great about prayer is that it will always be answered. Now, it may not be the answer we hope for, but God will never give us a cliff hanger to our request to Him. I have witnessed some answers to some prayer request from the past month. It has been really encouraging and just uplifting to know that God answers us. From here on out my goal is to strive to be a prayer warrior! I know it will take some training and time, but taking things one step at a time will eventually get me where I desire to be. I plan on taking the time to fast more so that I can cleanse my mind, soul and body and not have my focus on things that will distract me from prayer. At some point I would love to go out to a secluded area and just spend that one-on-one time with God! I know I will slip up along the way, but God will lead me and will bless me with friends to help and keep me accountable.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Mama Kelland's Banana Bread
Yesterday at breakfast there were some very ripe bananas at the cafeteria. I did not want this opportunity to pass, so two of my friends and I each grabbed up a banana each and headed on our way to classes. The reason for doing this? I was in the mood to make Banana Bread this weekend!
This morning Candace and I drove to Walmart to pick up a couple of ingredients to use. As soon as I got back to my dorm I grabbed up the rest of the ingredients and dishes from my room and headed down to the kitchen.
*If the mixture is too dry just add a little bit of water until it has more of a batter consistency.
YUM! I LOVE making banana bread! I wish I could make it all the time! Each time I make it it always turns out different. This time the difference was: I added a little too much baking soda and it was extra moist!
This morning Candace and I drove to Walmart to pick up a couple of ingredients to use. As soon as I got back to my dorm I grabbed up the rest of the ingredients and dishes from my room and headed down to the kitchen.
Mama Kelland's Banana Bread
- 2C Flour
- 1tsp Baking Soda
- pinch of salt
- 3/4C Sugar (brown or white)
- 1/2C butter
- 2 eggs
- 1/2T Vanilla
- 3 very ripe bananas
- 2 tsp cinnamon (opt)
*If the mixture is too dry just add a little bit of water until it has more of a batter consistency.
YUM! I LOVE making banana bread! I wish I could make it all the time! Each time I make it it always turns out different. This time the difference was: I added a little too much baking soda and it was extra moist!
Peace Like Never Before
It's amazing to experience the Peace of God. Just within the first month of this new year I have felt more of God's peace than ever before in my life and I can feel Him right by my side at the time of whatever is going on around me. This is new to me and I love it!
My second week into the semester I had my first fender bender. It was completely my fault and I take full responsibility for the situations. The couple I rolled into were not the most considerate people I've come across. The husband was definitely more calm about the situation than his wife, which helped a little bit. Their vehicle was recently bought and they were not happy about the paint chip on their back bumper and their first reaction was to go on and on about how their precious new SUV had been ruined. My first reaction after getting out of the vehicle that I was driving was to make sure they were both alright. As I apologised to the man I asked if they were alright. He assured me he was and instead of exchanging the concern, his first question out of his mouth to me was, "Are you under the influence?" Shocked, I assured him I was not.
The whole hustle and bustle kept me distracted enough that it wasn't until the during the time the police officer was filling out a report that I broke down in the car. My best friend, sitting in the passenger seat next to me, assured me that no matter the outcome everything was going to be alright. I thanked her for not being mad about this happening, especially because it was her car, and I explained to her that I was most upset because after my continual concern for their safety, not once did they ask if she and I were alright. It hurt me to see how selfish and materialistic people are in this world. I sat there letting the tears fall down my face. It was definitely a wake up call for several things, one being: Not everyone lives a life following Christ's footsteps.
Later during that day I realised I had not read my devotional from 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young. So I picked it up and read the first two words: "My Peace..." This overwhelming feeling came over me and I stopped, closed my eyes and gave thanks to God. As I read on, it talked about how His Peace is our treasure and that we should thank God when things are going our way and when they're not. It also said that He will bless us through our trials and we should except each mishap that come each day. I was in awe of how God knew I needed to read that. I had forgotten to read this earlier that morning and I believe God let me forget because He knew I would need to hear that even more later that day.
The end of this situation turned out fine for the most part and I cannot thank God enough for the people He has put in my life to help me out in many ways as well as help guide me through my life. This was definitely a learning experience both for my driving and my trust in knowing that God will work everything out no matter what it is. My prayer is that this couple some how takes this experience in a positive way and that some how my kindness towards them shines Jesus onto them. I did not once feel hatred or bitterness or anything along those lines towards them and I'm so glad, because I know it would hinder me and build up in me. It wouldn't be healthy. I am honestly concerned for their spiritual lives. I hope that I was able to plant a seed and that something better will come to them.
Experiencing God's Peace is something amazing. I wish I could break pieces of it from me to share with others, but I know it doesn't work like that. So, I hope that by living in and with God's Peace it will rub off on others so that they might experience it too!
My second week into the semester I had my first fender bender. It was completely my fault and I take full responsibility for the situations. The couple I rolled into were not the most considerate people I've come across. The husband was definitely more calm about the situation than his wife, which helped a little bit. Their vehicle was recently bought and they were not happy about the paint chip on their back bumper and their first reaction was to go on and on about how their precious new SUV had been ruined. My first reaction after getting out of the vehicle that I was driving was to make sure they were both alright. As I apologised to the man I asked if they were alright. He assured me he was and instead of exchanging the concern, his first question out of his mouth to me was, "Are you under the influence?" Shocked, I assured him I was not.
The whole hustle and bustle kept me distracted enough that it wasn't until the during the time the police officer was filling out a report that I broke down in the car. My best friend, sitting in the passenger seat next to me, assured me that no matter the outcome everything was going to be alright. I thanked her for not being mad about this happening, especially because it was her car, and I explained to her that I was most upset because after my continual concern for their safety, not once did they ask if she and I were alright. It hurt me to see how selfish and materialistic people are in this world. I sat there letting the tears fall down my face. It was definitely a wake up call for several things, one being: Not everyone lives a life following Christ's footsteps.
Later during that day I realised I had not read my devotional from 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young. So I picked it up and read the first two words: "My Peace..." This overwhelming feeling came over me and I stopped, closed my eyes and gave thanks to God. As I read on, it talked about how His Peace is our treasure and that we should thank God when things are going our way and when they're not. It also said that He will bless us through our trials and we should except each mishap that come each day. I was in awe of how God knew I needed to read that. I had forgotten to read this earlier that morning and I believe God let me forget because He knew I would need to hear that even more later that day.
The end of this situation turned out fine for the most part and I cannot thank God enough for the people He has put in my life to help me out in many ways as well as help guide me through my life. This was definitely a learning experience both for my driving and my trust in knowing that God will work everything out no matter what it is. My prayer is that this couple some how takes this experience in a positive way and that some how my kindness towards them shines Jesus onto them. I did not once feel hatred or bitterness or anything along those lines towards them and I'm so glad, because I know it would hinder me and build up in me. It wouldn't be healthy. I am honestly concerned for their spiritual lives. I hope that I was able to plant a seed and that something better will come to them.
Experiencing God's Peace is something amazing. I wish I could break pieces of it from me to share with others, but I know it doesn't work like that. So, I hope that by living in and with God's Peace it will rub off on others so that they might experience it too!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Day 21 - Loneliness Met - All In His Timing
This day was bound to come. Leaving. I found that it was not as hard to leave as I thought it might be. God answered prayers - that I would have the strength to say 'See you later' to my family as well as Africa and getting my 'fix' of Africa until I am able to return in a few years. I had a peace the whole morning I was finishing up packing, getting my boarding pass, eventually hugging my parents and brother and going through security. I didn't shed a tear of sadness because I knew God planted Africa in my heart and in His timing I would return and that I would be seeing my parents in a year and a half.
The waits in the airports were long and the flight from Johannesburg to D.C. was tough, but I eventually made it back to the states Saturday at 6:30am. Knowing before I got there that I would have an eleven hour layover, I got off of my plane that had been my source of transportation the last eighteen hours and found 'Customer Service' to see about switching flights and find a one that would get me to Kansas City earlier than my original time. Thankfully I was able to find a route that would take me to KC via Chicago and I would only have to wait three hours in D.C. instead of eleven. I had to make arrangements to pay a fee for the change as well as get the tags on my luggage changed so that they would accompany me on my new route. I was so thankful I was able to find an earlier flight back to my sister's.
By the time I got everything done it was 8:30am and I was starving. The airport gave me a food voucher to use at any restaurant in the airport. After not sleeping hardly at all on the plane and having my last five meals be airplane meals, I decided to go for some Starbucks. I got a muffin and a mocha, walked over to my gate and stretched out on three seats to rest. I was not able to sleep so I laid there reflecting on everything that had happened. I began to feel lonely and was ready to see my sister and my girl friends at school. I'll admit - I cried. The trip was tough on me not only physically and mentally, but emotionally.
I was not able to sleep so I decided to get up and read my book and eat my muffin. Having two more hours until I boarded my next plane, I sat there and waited. At some point a man approached me with a young lady trailing behind him. He asked if I was going to Chicago and I told him I was. He then introduced me to this lady and explained that she spoke French and hardly any English and asked if I would help her get food and board the plane when time cam (as he had to catch a different flight). I ensured him that I would love to help! Maria was her name. She was from Dominican Republic heading to Chicago to see family. The few words in English she knew were enough to help me understand what she wanted and what she needed. I helped her get a pastry and a Coke. We sat side by side not saying much to one another as we waited at our gate. I could not even imagine being in a foreign country alone and not having any real way of communicating with those around me. When it came time to board, we grabbed up our things and got in line. Later when I was sitting on the plane I realised that God filled my loneliness by putting Maria in my path. I just smiled and thanked Him.
I only had an hour and half layover in Chicago before it left for KC, putting me there three hours earlier than planned. Time to board came around and we lined up, scanned our boarding passes, then filed onto the plane. Not two minutes after half of the people got onto the plane, an announcement was made over the intercom - an instrument of the plane was not working and would need to be replaced, which would take thirty minutes to get there and another twenty minutes to install and test. They said we could stay on the plane or exit it and wait in the airport. I grabbed my things and backtracked to the airport. I sat around for a little while and then was tired of sitting down so got up to stretch my legs. Another announcement was made that the new instrument had been tested, but was not working, so another one would have to be put in and tested. By the time they got the piece to work, two hours had gone by. It was frustrating, but throughout it all I had peace and not once got annoyed or irritated. I have gone through many traveling experiences and this one was not bad at all. And I knew there was nothing I could do and being mad or upset would be a waist of energy.
When we finally touched down in Kansas City it was only one hour earlier than what I was suppose to arrive. I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and was thankful I was still able to get back earlier. I followed the crowd over to the carousel with our luggage on it. As pieces of luggage kept coming and getting picked up, people began to leave. I waited there hoping there was some way my two pieces of luggage would appear any minute - it didn't. As Holly was out parking the car in the parking garage, I went to 'Customer Service', again. I asked if they knew if my luggage was on my original flight and the lady thought that it was most likely. Holly and I waited an hour for the next flight to come in. As the carousel started back up again we waited ten minutes when we FINALLY saw my luggage. We grabbed the two pieces up and headed to the car. Even when this inconvenient thing happened, I was still not feeling any irritation or annoyance.
Although I had made plans to make it back to my sister's earlier, God had different plans. Even though I did not leave KC airport any earlier than what I would have if I had stayed in D.C. for eleven hours and taken my original flight, God had this occur for a reason. I feel He wanted me to take the flight to KC via Chicago so that I would run into Maria and help her out as well as bless me with her by filling my loneliness.
I love how I was able to see this and recognise it was God at work! Since then I have seen Him at work in my life and I couldn't ask for anything better than that. My walk with God had become really rocky last semester and I felt so distant from Him, but ever since that day things have been looking up and I'm really looking forward to what else He is going to do in my life! Now, I have a semester ahead of me that will determine if I make it into the Nursing Programme at College of the Ozarks. God has shown me and revealed to me where He wants me and what He wants me to do. I'm learning to live one day at a time and continue to trust God, because He has never once failed me and never will.
The waits in the airports were long and the flight from Johannesburg to D.C. was tough, but I eventually made it back to the states Saturday at 6:30am. Knowing before I got there that I would have an eleven hour layover, I got off of my plane that had been my source of transportation the last eighteen hours and found 'Customer Service' to see about switching flights and find a one that would get me to Kansas City earlier than my original time. Thankfully I was able to find a route that would take me to KC via Chicago and I would only have to wait three hours in D.C. instead of eleven. I had to make arrangements to pay a fee for the change as well as get the tags on my luggage changed so that they would accompany me on my new route. I was so thankful I was able to find an earlier flight back to my sister's.
By the time I got everything done it was 8:30am and I was starving. The airport gave me a food voucher to use at any restaurant in the airport. After not sleeping hardly at all on the plane and having my last five meals be airplane meals, I decided to go for some Starbucks. I got a muffin and a mocha, walked over to my gate and stretched out on three seats to rest. I was not able to sleep so I laid there reflecting on everything that had happened. I began to feel lonely and was ready to see my sister and my girl friends at school. I'll admit - I cried. The trip was tough on me not only physically and mentally, but emotionally.
I was not able to sleep so I decided to get up and read my book and eat my muffin. Having two more hours until I boarded my next plane, I sat there and waited. At some point a man approached me with a young lady trailing behind him. He asked if I was going to Chicago and I told him I was. He then introduced me to this lady and explained that she spoke French and hardly any English and asked if I would help her get food and board the plane when time cam (as he had to catch a different flight). I ensured him that I would love to help! Maria was her name. She was from Dominican Republic heading to Chicago to see family. The few words in English she knew were enough to help me understand what she wanted and what she needed. I helped her get a pastry and a Coke. We sat side by side not saying much to one another as we waited at our gate. I could not even imagine being in a foreign country alone and not having any real way of communicating with those around me. When it came time to board, we grabbed up our things and got in line. Later when I was sitting on the plane I realised that God filled my loneliness by putting Maria in my path. I just smiled and thanked Him.
I only had an hour and half layover in Chicago before it left for KC, putting me there three hours earlier than planned. Time to board came around and we lined up, scanned our boarding passes, then filed onto the plane. Not two minutes after half of the people got onto the plane, an announcement was made over the intercom - an instrument of the plane was not working and would need to be replaced, which would take thirty minutes to get there and another twenty minutes to install and test. They said we could stay on the plane or exit it and wait in the airport. I grabbed my things and backtracked to the airport. I sat around for a little while and then was tired of sitting down so got up to stretch my legs. Another announcement was made that the new instrument had been tested, but was not working, so another one would have to be put in and tested. By the time they got the piece to work, two hours had gone by. It was frustrating, but throughout it all I had peace and not once got annoyed or irritated. I have gone through many traveling experiences and this one was not bad at all. And I knew there was nothing I could do and being mad or upset would be a waist of energy.
When we finally touched down in Kansas City it was only one hour earlier than what I was suppose to arrive. I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and was thankful I was still able to get back earlier. I followed the crowd over to the carousel with our luggage on it. As pieces of luggage kept coming and getting picked up, people began to leave. I waited there hoping there was some way my two pieces of luggage would appear any minute - it didn't. As Holly was out parking the car in the parking garage, I went to 'Customer Service', again. I asked if they knew if my luggage was on my original flight and the lady thought that it was most likely. Holly and I waited an hour for the next flight to come in. As the carousel started back up again we waited ten minutes when we FINALLY saw my luggage. We grabbed the two pieces up and headed to the car. Even when this inconvenient thing happened, I was still not feeling any irritation or annoyance.
Although I had made plans to make it back to my sister's earlier, God had different plans. Even though I did not leave KC airport any earlier than what I would have if I had stayed in D.C. for eleven hours and taken my original flight, God had this occur for a reason. I feel He wanted me to take the flight to KC via Chicago so that I would run into Maria and help her out as well as bless me with her by filling my loneliness.
I love how I was able to see this and recognise it was God at work! Since then I have seen Him at work in my life and I couldn't ask for anything better than that. My walk with God had become really rocky last semester and I felt so distant from Him, but ever since that day things have been looking up and I'm really looking forward to what else He is going to do in my life! Now, I have a semester ahead of me that will determine if I make it into the Nursing Programme at College of the Ozarks. God has shown me and revealed to me where He wants me and what He wants me to do. I'm learning to live one day at a time and continue to trust God, because He has never once failed me and never will.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Day 14 - Table Mountain & Lion's Head!
This was probably by far my favourite thing I've done since I've been home! We got up early and drove over to Table Mountain, one of the 7 Wonders of the World! It has been closed several times this past week due to winds, so today it was very busy. We stood in queue for a good time before we finally made it to the cable car that took us up to the top of the mountain. It was only a four minute ride up, but it was crazy and exhilarating as the car rotated so we could see over Cape Town. The view from the top was absolutely gorgeous and indescribable and my photos cannot even justify how amazing it was up there!
Heading over to the bottom of Lion's Head we ate a quick picnic lunch then made the long hike up the mountain. It was steep and definitely a challenge, but a great hike and it was the perfect day for it! The higher up we got the more climbing we were doing. We did not make it to the very tip of the top, but we made it to the top. It took us about an hour and forty-five mintes to go up and down. We enjoyed the day and had some wonderful family time!
The view from the cable car
Luke and I looking down on Cape Town
Panoramic view of Cape Town
Heading over to the bottom of Lion's Head we ate a quick picnic lunch then made the long hike up the mountain. It was steep and definitely a challenge, but a great hike and it was the perfect day for it! The higher up we got the more climbing we were doing. We did not make it to the very tip of the top, but we made it to the top. It took us about an hour and forty-five mintes to go up and down. We enjoyed the day and had some wonderful family time!
The view from partway up Lion's Head
The path up the mountain was this narrow the whole way
Yikes! So many places where you could slip and fall
Almost to the top
We decided not to go any further, but next time we'll climb to the top of that part of the mountain
Day 12 - Luke's Birthday
I cannot believe Luke is 17! He is getting so old! For his birthday he wanted to go to Cape Pointe. This includes: penguines, Boulder Beach, hiking and shipwrecks. Our first stop was Boulder Beach. We walked along the beach and climbed, you got it, boulders. This beach is famous for the African Penguines, which were everywhere. We were inches away from the penguines, but we still had to be careful they didn't lunge at us with their sharp beaks.
Continuing our journey to Cape Pointe, the most southwestern tip of Africa, we drove and entered into the national park. We walked up the steep hill to where the lighthouse was located and could see the ocean going on forever! It was a gorgeous sight and it was hard to believe that we were standing at the furthest tip of the African continent!
Our last destination of the day was driving down to where the beginning of the trail which would take us to the shipwrecks on the beach! We walked 45 minutes one way and happened upon the first shipwreck sight. It was so fascinating to see pieces of the Thomas Tucker ship from 1942. We continued down the beach, with the roaring waves and the large amounts of seaweed to our right and the sand dunes to our left, and made our way the second wreck sight. This ship had been buried deeper into the sand over the last few months, when my family had last visited.
After a long and exhausting day we ended Luke's birthday with a Chicken Pot Pie dinner and an African version of ice cream cake (ice cream in the shape of a cake).
Continuing our journey to Cape Pointe, the most southwestern tip of Africa, we drove and entered into the national park. We walked up the steep hill to where the lighthouse was located and could see the ocean going on forever! It was a gorgeous sight and it was hard to believe that we were standing at the furthest tip of the African continent!
Directions of where major cities are at
Mma's photo bombing
The most southern tip of Africa
Our last destination of the day was driving down to where the beginning of the trail which would take us to the shipwrecks on the beach! We walked 45 minutes one way and happened upon the first shipwreck sight. It was so fascinating to see pieces of the Thomas Tucker ship from 1942. We continued down the beach, with the roaring waves and the large amounts of seaweed to our right and the sand dunes to our left, and made our way the second wreck sight. This ship had been buried deeper into the sand over the last few months, when my family had last visited.
After a long and exhausting day we ended Luke's birthday with a Chicken Pot Pie dinner and an African version of ice cream cake (ice cream in the shape of a cake).
We collected candles around the house to use for Luke to blow out
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Day 11 - Happy 2013
Happy New Year!! I cannot believe it is another year!! I have many things that I am eager to get started on this year. I'm looking forward to a fresh semester of college, I'm looking forward to finding a church to get involved in and I cannot wait to have many more adventures!
With Luke still being gone it was just my parents and me. We met up with some of their friend to go to the beach and hand out Jesus tracts. There were several thousand people there and out of those thousands of people there were about a dozen white people. The area we were in are mostly blacks and the reason for thousands of people being there today (not only to celebrate the new year) is due to the fact that during the apartheid in South Africa blacks were not aloud to go to the beach, so once the apartheid ended it has become a tradition to go to the beach because they have the right to now.
The winds were strong today so sand was blowing everywhere, but it didn't stop people from going to the beach or stop us from spreading the Word of God. Mma and I grabbed a bag of tracts and began to walk around passing the tracts out to men, women and children wishing them a 'Happy New Year.' As we walked together we had to be on guard as a majority of the people were drunk. I had two marriage proposals and a few younger girls took photos with us acting as if Mma and I were celebrities. Although we were covered in sand and had sand in our hair, nose, ears and mouth, it was a great way to start of the year.
In the evening we drove to the airport to pick up Luke from MK Camp! He had a blast and I'm so glad he was able to go! MK Camp is awesome, as all the MKs, from a few surrounding countries, get to see each other after a long time and have worship together and enjoy games and make the best memories! It's good to have Luke back!
With Luke still being gone it was just my parents and me. We met up with some of their friend to go to the beach and hand out Jesus tracts. There were several thousand people there and out of those thousands of people there were about a dozen white people. The area we were in are mostly blacks and the reason for thousands of people being there today (not only to celebrate the new year) is due to the fact that during the apartheid in South Africa blacks were not aloud to go to the beach, so once the apartheid ended it has become a tradition to go to the beach because they have the right to now.
The winds were strong today so sand was blowing everywhere, but it didn't stop people from going to the beach or stop us from spreading the Word of God. Mma and I grabbed a bag of tracts and began to walk around passing the tracts out to men, women and children wishing them a 'Happy New Year.' As we walked together we had to be on guard as a majority of the people were drunk. I had two marriage proposals and a few younger girls took photos with us acting as if Mma and I were celebrities. Although we were covered in sand and had sand in our hair, nose, ears and mouth, it was a great way to start of the year.
In the evening we drove to the airport to pick up Luke from MK Camp! He had a blast and I'm so glad he was able to go! MK Camp is awesome, as all the MKs, from a few surrounding countries, get to see each other after a long time and have worship together and enjoy games and make the best memories! It's good to have Luke back!
Day 10 - Green Market, Eastern Bazaar and Fireworks
When I got back from my run this morning I decided to make granola bars with a new recipe that I had yet to try! They were SO delicious and I even added a few of my own ingredients to change it up!
>3 Tblsp Butter
>1 1/2 C Coconut
>1 1/2 C Almonds
>1 1/2 C Chocolate Chips
>1 C Craisins
>1 can condensed milk
>2 tspn cinnamon (optional)
The Green Market was very similar to the Zambian markets I've been too! We haggled for the items we bought and even met a Zimbabwean woman! It was tons of fun!
For lunch we headed for to the Eastern Bazaar where, yes, they had foods from the east! I was about to order Veggie Fried Rice (something I was familiar with), when Mma gave me the idea to order something new. So I looked at the menus and ordered the 'Chicken Bunny Chow'. I had no idea what I had just ordered, but I stood in line until I saw them place my plate on the counter. It reminded me of the Soup-Bread Bowl at Panera, but it did not taste close to that. It was chicken-curry dish in, not even joking, half a loaf of bread. It was spicy and good.
Point Lookout Granola Bars
>4 C Oats>3 Tblsp Butter
>1 1/2 C Coconut
>1 1/2 C Almonds
>1 1/2 C Chocolate Chips
>1 C Craisins
>1 can condensed milk
>2 tspn cinnamon (optional)
- Mix together dry ingredients with hands. Add wet ingredients and mix with hands (this is very messy, but works best).
- Press granola into a 13x9 pan with a metal spoon.
- Bake at 325 F for 30 minutes, or until lightly golden.
The Green Market was very similar to the Zambian markets I've been too! We haggled for the items we bought and even met a Zimbabwean woman! It was tons of fun!
For lunch we headed for to the Eastern Bazaar where, yes, they had foods from the east! I was about to order Veggie Fried Rice (something I was familiar with), when Mma gave me the idea to order something new. So I looked at the menus and ordered the 'Chicken Bunny Chow'. I had no idea what I had just ordered, but I stood in line until I saw them place my plate on the counter. It reminded me of the Soup-Bread Bowl at Panera, but it did not taste close to that. It was chicken-curry dish in, not even joking, half a loaf of bread. It was spicy and good.
Chicken Bunny Chow
Down Town Cape Town!
For New Years Eve night we went and parked in a car park part way up Table Mountain to see the fireworks shot off from the bay. With winds of 45mph it was crazy outside and chilly, but it was still fun to celebrate the new year with my parents.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)